Monday, September 10, 2007

Snake in the Garden

I am the preacher of little naked Adam and little naked Eve in the Garden of Paradise, with no fig leaf on. However, just in case some kiddies out there might allow their enthusiasm for the lovely lilies of the valley to overcome their better judgment, I would like to introduce a note of caution here, and remind everyone that Adam could wind up with some of that puss coming out of the end of his dick while Eve has genital warts and these really small little crabs crawling around in her pubic hair.

Yes, kiddies, there is a snake in the Garden, and for that reason, even though hugging anyone you want to hug and loving anyone you so fondly love is no sin, it would be reckless to spread crabs and puss all over the place. So, for this reason ‘sexual morality’ must become complex. True sexual morality is not complex. Just be generous and giving and loving and tolerant and lenient and forgiving. Don’t be like the monogamists, harshly judging each cut of meat while looking for the prime cut. Love your lovers. Hitting someone over the head with a mallet is a sin, but an orgasm is not a criminal act. However, in a Garden crawling with snakes, the moral and ethical dilemmas become more difficult to deal with, and deal with them you must, for to do otherwise would be sexual immorality, and you don’t want to become that type of person.

There are other ethical issues involved in human sexuality. Those familiar with biology would know that as a general rule human beings rarely become pregnant. Procreation is actually a secondary feature of human sexuality and its prime function is that it is a bonding tool. You can see the same behavior in other primate species, such as the Bonobo, a species which has sex in various forms, frequently oral sex, including same sex sexual escapades, none of which have anything to do with ‘procreation’, but have everything to do with cementing a strong bond between all the members of that tribe. Human beings have sex a lot and get pregnant a little for the primary function of human sexuality is to cement strong loving bonds between human beings, which then explains why sex feels so very very good.

Fortunately, in the modern world, we have birth control, which allows human beings to deal with the moral and ethical issues that arise from bringing a baby into the world without becoming real sinful and doing such things as taking off and dumping someone because you didn’t want a kid, thus becoming an immoral sinner. The problem is only compounded and made even more sinful by the unnatural monogamous family structure that was forced upon human beings in the process of creating the concept of wealth and private property, for before this time human social organization was tribal, and therefore no woman with a child was ever found to be in a desperate situation. You can get an idea of the natural way in which human infants were once raised by examining the social organization of other primate species, where no one is married and living in separate boxed in cages, but rather live in a tribal association, and you don’t see male monkeys and gorillas trying to jump ship when some female becomes pregnant because in the at social situation there is no such concept as ‘adultery’. What is referred to as ‘adultery’ is a sin which is a product of the organization of society in such a way as to destroy the tribal mentality and replace it with the monogamous mentality of ‘family values’ and private property and those individual caged boxes that are required if we are to make damn sure that the rest of the tribe stays away from our stuff, thus allowing everyone to pile up as much stuff as they can for themselves alone before they drop dead. Call it a game, and the one who wins with the biggest pile of stuff is the declared winner.