Yes, I am telling you I have really strong moral values, going back a long ways, because I was a very devout child. I found that there was nothing better for building up ones devotion than frequent visits to the sacred shrine of your religion, which in my case was the boys locker room after gym class. I had heard that some people could develop speed reading, and so I started thinking that maybe I could develop a photographic memory somehow. So you can see that even at the youngest age I always thought of an obstacle as being something to overcome and there was no end to my ambitions. Right from that first day in that boys locker room with that buck naked Adam I knew there was going to be some good jerking happening later on, this being an early example of my powers of prophetic insight as events later on that day were to bear me out on that particular prophecy. Oh, yes, my great dream was that I could find someway to make my mind into a Polaroid camera.
Yes, I was a very devout child with strong moral values who never missed a chance to visit the most sacred shrine. I found that there was nothing quite like the wonder and the awe of a truly divine experience to get this boy to drop down on my knees in sincere prayer full of the reverence for the holiness, and more than once, too, let me tell you.
