Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The Silver Bullet

Well that’s enough bawling people out for today. Now it is time for a ghost story. (I have lost my satirical edge, but perhaps once I get a few things out of my system, I can go back to burlesque and satirize everything, which I love so much and enjoy doing so very much).

The following is a link to a scanned image of my. driver’s license . You will notice that number on it is ‘ 0 9 0 6 6 6 0 6 ‘. Yes, it is my spooky driver’s license, with the number ‘ 6 6 6 ‘.

Now as I keep telling people, I really am the genuine Prophet of YAHWEH and the real honest to God preacher of the Garden of Eden, and that trail of bread crumbs I leave in my wake as well as my notorious mouth suggests that this is in fact true. It should come as no surprise that someone who really is someone should pull out a bad driver’s license like that one. Now I could go down to that driver’s agency and pound my fist on the desk and demand that this number be removed. After all, I am a prophet of YAHWEH, and the last thing I need is the hassle of some ‘mark of the beast’ driver’s license number. However I refuse to do that, for two reasons. First it is one more bread crumb. Second it is a piece of evidence I have against those dragons, for you see there are not only heavenly angels up above, but there are these weirdos, the sociopaths, whom I refer to as Dragons. Because they are psychos they aren’t very nice at all, and they are also the type to give a prophet of YAHWEH some trouble, or at least make the reckless attempt. But that is alright, because I prefer a reckless dragon that makes the attempt, and then leaves behind a set of prints at the scene of the crime. Since getting rid of that driver’s license would be like destroying evidence at the scene of the crime, I just refuse to do so, for you see I want those weirdo dragons prosecuted.

I told you before that I was Lot in Sodom, and that I left Sodom behind and never went back, because I did not like the unrighteousness of that place. Well it was about two years after I walked away from Sodom unfucked that the guys who wanted to fuck me started dropping dead from AIDs. The prophet of YAHWEH had just made a very narrow escape, for you see, because of my personality type, being very generous and more than willing to make someone’s dream came true if they weren’t going to charge me one million dollars for having done so, that AIDs virus was like a silver bullet with my name on it.

When a prophet of YAHWEH makes such a narrow escape from death I do not regard such an event as a coincidence. Knowing those damned dragons and all their foul plots as I do, naturally I see just one more of those worthless dragon plots that went nowhere. I guess that those Dragons thought that given my personality profile I would be getting my ass pumped full of AIDs, without knowing I was getting pumped full of AIDs, because no one knew a damn thing and it was exuberant bare back all the way in those days. But those dragons didn’t really know Lot as well as they thought they did, because it turned out that Lot didn’t get fucked up the ass, because he was Lot, you see, and not auditioning for the role of Sleazy the Town Slut, and so Lot walked on Sodom. It was only a couple of years after Lot walked away from Sodom that the place began to burn to the ground, an experience which scared the shit out of me when I considered just what a very close call that was. The only thing that saved me was that I refused to trade my strong moral convictions for sex, which was also something that dragons failed to consider.

So you can see that while there are those who say that ‘God punished fags with the AIDs virus’, if you were to ask this theologian I would reply that, no, it was not God who is the mad scientist working in some laboratory, but rather that mad scientist would be a sociopath, like the Dragon. How people do blaspheme the name of God.