Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Lot in Sodom

You know I don’t think that there is anyone else on this planet who more deserves to reverse the aging process than me, because my sex life was ruined because I was destined to become Lot in Sodom. Do oil and water mix? Whenever I was confronted with a choice between sex and my moral values, I always chose my moral values, and that meant that I sure didn’t get laid very often.

If you ask people who have known me over the years to tell you about me, they will shake their heads. It is so sad the way that boy ruined his life, they will say. And in so many ways. I ruined it with grief and I ruined with mourning and I ruined it by not having lots of fun with sex. If there was ever a person who so disgracefully ruined and wasted his very very short time on earth it was me. This is what they will tell you if you ask them to speak about me. When you are a righteous man living among sinners you are widely considered to be the biggest fool who ever lived and your life becomes a parable of tragic waste, a veritable text book example of just why no one should ever be righteous but rather we should all compromise our moral values so that we can live during our short time under the sun.

I explored the gay scene in my city only for a very brief time and then I was gone. I had those guys pegged right away. They were such nasty scandal mongers and bad gossips, in short they were typical members of society. I was a hottie, which only made those who know me even more disgusted with my life choices. As someone once said to me, sarcastically, ‘enjoy your life,’ and then he shook his head in disgust. Someone else once said to me, ‘most men would give anything in the world to have a body like yours and you hide it away.’ How disgusting.

Well, you know, I was a hottie, and I was also a real nice guy, very generous and giving, but as I saw by listening to all that salacious gossip, one thing you don’t want to be is generous and giving. If you are, then you become Sleazy the Town Slut. “Well that boy is one slutty whore. He’s such an easy slut that probably just about anyone could fuck him.: I already had a life script, the story of a very good hearted good soul who was a hottie and who understood the thrill that people got from a very nice body, and would have been happy to thrill some of those guys. I already had a life script, not that I was planning to act out the role, because it was who I really was, and I certainly didn’t need anyone writing a new script for me, especially a fucker like that one. Sleazy the Town Slut? As generous girls have learned throughout history, that’s gratitude for you, right?

I was such a hottie, they used to compare me to porn stars, and they would tell me, “you oughta be in pictures, boy.” I was swimming a mile a day, and sometimes those boys would rearrange their schedules so as to show up at the YMCA in the hopes of getting a little closer to Apollo, and I used to get the pop eye look of surprised astonishment all the time. Yes, I was eye popping eye candy, and I was not only good, I was better than they were expecting. I think I might have had a bit of the exhibitionist in my personality at the time, because I used to watch out of the corner of my eye for that pop eyed look. (Sound effect : “POP!”) When I saw it again I used to think to myself, ‘Good! Ha! Ha! Ha!’

Yes I was Lot in Sodom. I could have been Sleazy the Town Slut, if I chose to step into the role, but given how I wasn’t the first, as I quickly learned from the bad scandal mongering mouths on those guys, I decided not to audition for the part. I chose the alternative role, that of Lot in Sodom, and I left the gay scene behind, vanishing in a puff of smoke, and was never seen again. Years later when I ran into some of those guys, they would always ask me why I suddenly vanished in puff of smoke and was never seen again, and I would toss off some cooked up explanation, because I didn’t want to tell them that they were all appalling sinners to me, and since oil does not mix with water, I decided to pack up and do the Lot thing and just move out of Sodom once and for all.

Yes, those guys really fucked themselves instead of fucking me, for gossip ruins the lives of the gossiper as well as the gossipee. People are so ruinously stupid that they actually construct dungeons for themselves where human beings live secret lives, the whole dungeon system being maintained by leagues of dungeon masters with scandal mongering tongues.

Now as I think back over the years, I know that those gay guys who were not fucking me were probably dreaming of fucking some porn star or another. That dream of theirs did not come true either, and the difference between fucking me and fucking some porn star on some screen is that I was actually fuckable, or I could have been, if it had not been for their evil sinful ways. Are fuckable porn stars just a dime a dozen to you guys? Easy come, easy go, that’s your motto?

Gossips are such stupid people. They build a dungeon and then they lock themselves inside, and no doubt they hold the occasional pity party for themselves, for are they not unfortunate wretches locked in dungeons, and barred from paradise?