It should come as no surprise if a genuine preacher of the Garden of Eden was being chased and hunted down by the furious fig leaf peddling snake. As I pointed out to you people I, alas, must carry around with me the ‘Mark of the Beast.’ Where I live we get our driver’s license when we are sixteen, and we get a ‘Learner’s license’ when we are fifteen, which means that at around the same time in my life that the Heavenly Angels were visiting me at Banff National Park I was also getting some attention from the Fig Leaf Peddling Devils, and consequently when I got my drivers license those devils somehow rigged the lottery balls so that I got the number ‘0 9 0 6 6 6 0 6’. Yes, kiddies, it is ‘6 6 6 ‘, the Mark of the Beast driver’s license. It has caused me trouble already that thing. I go to rent a video, and they want my ID, so I show them that thing, and the clerk turns as white as a ghost because of the abject terror of it all. Sometimes people joke about it. They laugh and say, ‘oh, Mark of the Beast, hey. Ha, ha ha. You must be a bad one.’
Now as I have said before I could go down to that Driver’s License Agency and pound the desk in fury and demand that they take that damn thing a stick it, and we’ll start over with some randomly generated number like ‘394857865’. You know, kiddies, if you are familiar with statistics you would understand that the odds that a Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, such as myself, would pull the Mark of the Beast randomly out of a drum is about one in 999,999,999. Those are very high odds. The point to be made here is that obviously that was intentional.
So then, you may well ask, why is it that I do not pound the desk and ditch the Mark of the Beast. As I have mentioned, I find that thing to be useful in various ways. Let us say that I want to talk about a flying fig leaf peddling snake, for the heavenly places are not just full of Heavenly Angels above. Well it always helps a true Prophet of YAHWEH to have a red flag of warning to run up the old flag pole, and thanks to the generosity of those sociopathic weirdos up above, I just happen to have on my person just such a red flag. I also do not believe in destroying evidence at a crime scene before the case reaches court, and since nailing someone who just wants to go to the Garden of Eden with the Mark of the Beast is a crime, I think I will just hang onto that thing until the case reaches court so that I can prosecute that flying fig leaf peddling snake. There is also a third reason in that people are always saying to me, ‘show us your bread crumbs of evidence’, bread crumbs being what I have right now until I get the full loaf, and then people are always saying, ‘you don’t have enough bread crumbs’, and for that reason I thought I would just hang onto every single damn bread crumb I have, including that Mark of the Beast, because I wouldn’t want to disappoint my many critics by coming up even so much as one bread crumb short.
For, you see, I really am the Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of that lover’s paradise, the Garden of Eden, and YAHWEH really is the God of naked Gardens in sexualized Paradise, despite what your godless abandoned screwed up religions have been telling you for thousands of years, which then goes a long way towards explaining why God has the reputation of being such a ruthless prick who never answers even so much as one prayer. You people are already so fucked up that you believe that God created ‘temptation’ so that you could ‘resist such tempting temptations’ as a form of spiritual weight lifting, and so therefore, given how damned hard it is to stamp out religion and get rid of it once and for all, it would be quite harmful for YAHWEH God to answer the prayers of some religious saint thus convincing everyone that this is the sort of thing which would get the approval of God. Then we would never get rid of religion, now would we. But I digress…
Now I know that after thousands of years of godlessness on this planet, it is quite extraordinarily difficult for a real genuine Prophet of YAHWEH such as myself to preach a damn thing to anyone on this planet, such is the godless end of divorced godless religion, and so for that reason I am content to be Lenny Bruce, the comedian. Every good comedian should have a stable of character roles to play, such as that pulpit pounding moral values preacher that is one of my characters, and which I might play again sometime, if I can think of another truly ironic juxtaposition, which is required to play that character. (How could I resist). Or perhaps I could play the role of creepily strange weirdo of some sort, who comes to haunt your house. You see, if I can’t be the prophet of YAHWEH, given the circumstances at the present time, well then perhaps I can be Lenny or a spook haunting your house, and in that way I can get my agenda done by means of indirection, since the more direct approach probably wouldn’t work out for me. I am versatile and adaptable and eminently reasonable you see. Whatever works for me. How then can I haunt your house and spook you all if I ditched that Mark of the Beast. That would leave me one character role short, and given how damned hard my job is, I wouldn’t want to make it any harder than it already is.
