As you might know from my blog I do burlesque laced with irony and in the process I also send up the entire blogging phenomenon. This is not my agenda, sending up the blogging phenomenon, but it just so happens that doing so actually does fit in with my actual agenda, so it works for me. this is my first blog, and I am loving it. I love to parody the way that people have of using blogs to share their true inner selves with the world without actually doing so. If someone stumbles upon this blog of mine I don't think they will ever be able to think of blogs in quite the same way again. I think I should be nominated for a webbie, if they have a catagory for best satirical send up of the blogging phenomena. As I said sending up blogs is not my agenda, but doing so does work for me as I pursue my actual agenda. its fun...
One part of my agenda is to move porn stars out of the way of a Howitzer. All the way back during the time of the Clinton Administration I knew that I was going to have to move porn stars to a safer location, and I remember I used to worry and fret about how I was going to be able to get that done. You see porn stars do not deserve to be stomped and crushed under the big giant sized boot of God, and if I didn't move you over to one side, you would get nailed and you would be crushed by that big boot. Now you may not know what I am talking about here, but I sure as to hell do. Let us just say that YAHWEH is overwhelming, and when YAHWEH finally does get supremely pissed off at a planet and lets loose with those Howitzers if you people do not have that bullseye remvoed that was stapled to you by the religious types, you would wind up taking the full blast from that howitzer. My job is to remove the bullseye. Among other jobs, of course. That is one part of my agenda. I have come to the conclusion that the best way to remove a bullseye like that one is to play the clown and the comedian. Or perhaps I can play the role of the creepy weirdo. That would also be fine. Or maybe I can be the creepily weird Jim Jones cult leader. You see it doesn't matter to me who porn stars think I am, just as long as they pay attention to me, even if they do not know that I really am a prophet of YAHWEH. Whether they realize it or not I can then remove the bullseye target, and that blast from that Howitzer when it comes will whizz right by them instead of nailing them and blowing them to smithereens.
You know, oh porn star, you may think you are radical and quite daring and even fearless, but one blast from that Howitzer could be so overwhelming that even a daring character such as yourself might be found 'giving his soul to Jesus' over at some religious right fuck up spot. My job is to make sure that Adam or Eve do not do something so fucking stupid as to run off and grab the sacred fig leaf to slap onto that sinfilled crotch the very moment YAHWEH shows up.
Now I could shoot for the stars every time, and attempt to convince porn stars that I really am a prophet of YAHWEH, but that would be extraordinarily difficult, and sometimes it might even be damned impossible, so therefore I have decided that it would be better to aim for an easier target, like something right accross the street, something I can be sure to hit, like the side of a barn for example. So then if I can be an amusing weirdo to porn stars, and if they listen to me only because I am funny or outrageous, that is fine by me, because that way they did listen, whereas if I spend my time trying to convince them that I am a prophet of YAHWEH they might not listen and then wind up getting nailed by a Howitzer. Next thing you know I would find fearful trembling porn stars meekly wearing the divine fig leaf over their dicks and pussies, having had the fear of religion put into them, which would be totally fucked up and not the result we were looking for.
I don't know when that Howitzer might go off, but I do know that I have work to do before it does go off. Another part of my agenda is making damn sure that after the Howitzer goes off we don't see some fucked up result such as Islamic mosques sprouting up like Quickie Marts all over the fucking planet. For the time being my strategy is to just keep swinging a wrecking ball at religion, and hopefully I can do enough damage just by swinging a wrecking ball that the problem of having the human race royally fucked up by religion will no longer be a concern and it will then be safe for YAHWEH to show up and blast the planet with that wrath filled howitzer. You see a howitzer was required because there was myself, a prophet of YAHWEH, on the job and the planet just was not paying attention and listening like they were supposed to, and when a planet does not listen to a prophet of YAHWEH then a planet has to listen to YAHWEH instead, which means that this becomes a planet that will be just shitting bricks, hiding under beds, and so on. Hell, even porn stars might be shitting bricks or hiding under beds, which is fine, because this is YAHWEH we are talking about here, and when YAHWEH gets pissed off people do tend to shit bricks. Just as long as porn stars do not shit bricks, and then sacredly place the holy fig leaf over their filthy cocks and pussies, I am fine with having them shit bricks.
