Tuesday, September 18, 2007

New Blog

To avoid cluttering up my main blog, and perhaps diluting my message with too many posts, I have started a secondary blog where I will be posting notes and comments.

The address of this new blog is http://bkherbert2.blogspot.com/

Friday, September 14, 2007

Saskatoon, Easter Monday, 2000

I have previously told the story of how, when I was fifteen, I went up the Mountain of Paradise. (Those who might be new to this blog can find some more background discussion of these events in the September Archives titled ‘Banff’, ‘A Trail of Breadcrumbs’, ‘The Silver Bullet’, and ‘Prayer Warrior’, and ‘Porn Agenda’).

What happened to me on that Mountain of Eden was very beautiful, but what happened to me when I came down from that Mountain and returned to this place was very painful. I had to carry around in myself a secret which began to torture me, for I could not get anyone to listen to me nor did anyone believe what I was trying to tell them. Thousands of years had gone by, and we had religion with no gods, and for that reason the reputation of any so called god was that of a ruthless son of bitch and as everyone knew so very well you could sleep on a bed of nails and pray down on your knees on top of busted glass and never, ever would you ever ever get an answer from such a miserable miserly scrooge like that pitiless merciless bastard called ‘God’.

The pain of living with such a beautiful secret just increased over the years until my entire life was engulfed by pain, and in those times I cannot remember ever having even so much as one happy moment in each of those days that were days just like the day before which would be just like the day after. The experience of enduring such an emotionally exhausting ordeal seemed interminable.

It was for this reason that I went over the deep end and was pushed by my emotions and my strong desire to escape the painful experience to become very aggressive as I attempted to use force to make these people do what I told them to do. If I had to I would terrorize them so as to scare the hell out of them or bully them. I could not stop myself and this got me into trouble.

It was for this reason that on that famous day, the Monday right after Easter Sunday, in the year 2000, that my hometown of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan was visited by a very bad tempered and angry YAHWEH of Hosts, the God of the Garden of Eden. People who live in my hometown would remember that event. It was unforgettable. I received a roaring bawling out, that sounded like the judgment of an angry old judge, and then I was sent packing to my room to think about what I had done and what I was doing for about three days. I did eventually repent and make up my mind that somehow, someway, I would find the strength to wait a little longer without going over the top again.

What was most interesting about that experience of being publicly bawled out by YAHWEH was that first, I was publicly bawled out by YAHWEH. It was not a private thing, but then most things that have happened to me have never been private things but have been happening out in the open since the very beginning. The brilliant craft I encountered at Banff appeared over my hometown of Melville, Saskatchewan in the following months, and created a big stir which people who lived in that town at the time would still remember. Who could forget? The response to that big stir was that scientists gave out explanations through the media that we were being deceived by floating clouds of swamp gas, and on another occasion the local newspaper mocked us by claiming that we went hysterical over weather balloons. I still have the scanned clipping somewhere which I should post as soon as I can find it in my archives, for you see a newspaper does not need to mock us unless we were making noise and needed someone to shut us up.

For about one week after that Easter Monday event, I saw the signs of YAHWEH everywhere I went. It was on everyone’s face, the look of shocked astonishment frozen on their expressions. They were wide eyed and they remained that way for at least a full week. I went to the store and everyone there was wide eyed. I went to an office downtown to pay a bill on Thursday, which was four days later, and the clerk was wide eyed with horror. The look on his face said, ‘No, it can’t be. Not that. Not that. Anything but that.’ You see, he didn’t know that YAHWEH was the God of the Garden of Eden, and he thought that the religious fig leaf peddling Christian ‘god’ was God, and he was horrified, as you would expect, for this is the dreadful oppressor who tempts and then demands resistance to those temptations, and who boils naked Adam and naked Eve in boiling oil like a fish stick if they are caught without their decent moral fig leaf. That would be enough to horrify anyone.

Everywhere I went I saw the same thing happening. The look on their faces testified to the truth, but everyone was pretending that they didn’t notice that look on each other’s face and there was this conspiracy of silence, for no one was allowed to mention the word ‘God’ and everyone had to pretend that life was just going on as normal as though nothing had ever happened.

There is such a thing as killing two birds with one stone, to quote the old proverb, and at the same time that I was being disciplined I was also being tutored. I learned so much on that Monday in Saskatoon. I learned that religion sits there like a trap and a snare waiting for the day of YAHWEH to come so as to confuse and then destroy. I also learned that some people get caught in a sin and then they react irrationally. For most of them that sin of theirs would be their backstabbing and inhumane gossip.

Religion, the Fig Leaf Peddling Snake

I am the Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, a naked lover’s paradise, where all great lovers of humanity are free to love their many lovers in a Garden Paradise. This is not that sexless ‘Heaven’, folks, where the humanity of human beings is destroyed and replaced by a sterile ghost which then becomes part of a religious host performing religion forever and ever.

Now if the truth about God is known, that God does exist, even though it would seem that there is no God, and that God is the God of naked Adam and naked Eve, then the reason why God does not seem to exist can be clearly understood. If God were to show mercy and become the God of religion, then we would never get rid of that fig leaf peddling snake. If we take that most obvious fig leaf peddling snake, Roman Catholicism, as our example, we can see that two thousand years of the ‘dark night of the soul’ and of ruthless silence and rejection on the part of God still wasn’t long enough for some people, and if God were to break that silence and appear to be the god of Catholics or her daughters, then we would have stubborn Catholics and stubborn Protestants for two hundred thousand years instead of just two thousand years as has been the case on thuis planet. Some people cannot take a very strong hint, so that even if they are left to rot on the vine for ages of time there are those who stubbornly continue to insist that God is the god of religion.

The Great Day of YAHWEH

As the prophet of YAHWEH, the preacher of the Garden of Eden, my task is to clear a path for YAHWEH so that YAHWEH God of Hosts can return to this planet without the danger of an explosion of religion being the end result. It would be such a pity for God to have been such a ruthless merciless bastard for ages of time, only to have religion climb up out of the dust, claim the crown of victory, and get everyone on the planet crushed for another two thousand years, which appears to be about the minimum amount of time it would take to get rid of something like religion.

So therefore my goal is to allow YAHWEH to become supremely pissed off at this planet, so that what happened in Saskatoon, on the Monday after Easter Sunday, in the year 2000, can happen on a much grander scale, in a release of much greater pent up indignation and wrath, all over this planet all at once.

In order to clear a path through the wilderness on this planet, it is required that I destroy the credibility of your religions, and that I make known the knowledge of YAHWEH, and that I explain the past and that I predict the course of future events in general terms. I say ‘general terms’ because unlike those dogmatic church prophets I do not believe that somehow the future is fixed and that ‘prophecy’ is thus fatalistic but rather prophecy is fluid and dynamic and consists of predicting outcomes based upon currently existing trends, and that prophecy can become ‘false’ if a prophet should be lucky enough to become a ‘false prophet’ and pulls a rabbit out of a hat, thus causing a change in present circumstances which then leads to a change in outcome in the future. ‘Prophecy’ therefore is a matter of calculating the probability that certain future events will occur, and it is not simply a matter of constructing dogmatic constructs which then must happen because they were dogmatic constructs and thus were considered unquestionable doctrine.

The Pit and the Snare

I would not be much of a ‘prophet of YAHWEH’ if I did not ‘prophecy’ and my predictions concerning the course of future events are based upon my years of accumulated experience combined with my analysis of the current state of affairs.

I make note of the fact that so many of the people around me are unrepentant sinners and for most of them the sin of the greatest concern is their bad habit, inherited from their religious ancestors, of being judgmental backstabbing gossips. You can not be a lover of humanity if you are being a moral hypocrite, the type of person who attacks the human race for the simple fact that they are human and they do the things that human beings do by nature. Religion, in particular that fraudulent Christian theology, manufactures excuses for attacking the humanity for being human, thus justifying judgmental backstabbing, through its doctrine of ‘the fall’ and the consequent ‘evil nature’ which then supposedly explains why it is that human beings are by nature evil and therefore can be backstabbed by gossips. What I preach is that ‘the fall’ consists of evil religion and its contradictory doctrines and that we do not have ‘evil nature’ but rather natural law is acceptable just as it is, or it would have to be true that God created evil nature, and is thus a big time fuck up. It is canon law which is evil, and it is for this reason that Canon Law must attack the natural law, and it is religion which led to the fall from grace, and so therefore to justify that godless long forsaken institution that fictions must be created to make it seem like people have fallen since their human nature is in conflict with the doctrines of that fig leaf peddling snake.

It is very obvious that religion is godforsaken and divorced, for in a religious culture one of the great philosophical debates that will define that long age is the question ‘Does God exist.’ We must debate this point because it is in question, which isn’t saying much for religion. This whoring institution must therefore protect itself by inventing doctrines to justify having religion with no god. I have noticed that religion has constructed snares and traps and has dug out pits and the end result is that should the Great Day of YAHWEH arrive, people will begin falling into this pits and getting caught up in those snares.

It is typical of godless religion and every form of idolatry on this planet to include the doctrine of ‘the return of the god.’ They all incorporate this doctrine in one form or another, although none of them deal with the question of why it would be required that a god take off for thousands of years, leave six million Jews to be fried by a disgusting creep, not to mention sundry other assorted horrors, while leaving us with godless religion and those endless philosophical and apologetic debates.

The solution to this problem is to have the Prophet of YAHWEH, such as myself, speak at least once to ever person on the face of the planet. That is very unlikely to ever happen due to the oppression that confronts a Prophet of YAHWEH. This oppression takes the form of religious institutions blockading such a prophet, and it also takes the form of sinful gossips, of which there are so many, confronting a prophet, and then rather than telling a friend who tells a friend who tells a friend, burying that prophet in a hole in the ground. This behavior pattern is similar to how people behave when they are confronted with YAHWEH in person as happened in Saskatoon in the year 2000. They bury the thing into a deep hole because they are unrepentant sinners, and they bring the process of spreading the word to a grinding halt. Thus it is slow going for a prophet of YAHWEH.

Therefore what this means is that a Prophet of YAHWEH must become pragmatic and adapt to actually existing circumstances, and in this presently existing situation, it means that a Prophet of YAHWEH must win the battle after the fact, rather than before the fact.

What this means is that terror, pit and snare await you, Oh Children of Humanity. Anyone who climbs up out of a pit, will step on a trap and become ensnared. Anyone who escapes from the snare, will then fall into the pit. These pits have been dug for you long ago by your religions. The religious right will be catching many people in those snares they have laid. False prophets will gather followers whom they will ruthlessly attack with maniacal visions of horror and fire and torture. Everyone will be wearing fig leafs and becoming very holy, as they are terrorized and attacked by religion and false prophets. They will be punished because they had a prophet of YAHWEH on the planet but they did not listen. It was their neighbor who punished them. If they had the chance to listen to a prophet of YAHWEH, they might have escaped the snare and they might have avoided falling into the pit, but they never had a chance, for time ran out and the Great Day of YAHWEH came upon them suddenly and quite unexpectedly.

The Strategic Map

I have been down in the Battle Room studying the strategic war maps, and the most probable scenario when war breaks out on this planet, is that religion will land storm troopers on the beaches of Normandy, and then the Waffen SS of religion will take advantage of the highly desirable strategic situation to launch a sudden Blitzkrieg over those undefended fields of France.

What this means is that a Prophet of YAHWEH, and any small army I might be able to cobble together, will find ourselves on the defensive, and our strategic dilemma will be to find a way to first, halt a Blitzkrieg, then roll back an advancing army, until finally even the bridge head is destroyed and the enemy is thrown back into the sea where he came from.

This is a less than desirable strategic situation confronting us, but it is a battle we cannot lose. Our ancestors lost the war with the fig leaf peddling snake again and again, and the result is plain and clear. It was ages of time locked up in dungeons in total darkness, without so much as a window to let in a single ray of light, with only some morphine peddling priest for company.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A Prophet of YAHWEH

I call myself the prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, a lovers paradise, where all great lovers of humanity are free to love their many lovers in a naked paradise. There are those loveless souls who have been completely ruined by their life in this world who will find this idea to be very deeply offensive. This does not say much for their religion which is a religion which creates people who are not lovers of humanity and therefore will not be found in Gardens but will be found in a sterile loveless sexless place like Heaven, while peddling fig leafs as a sign of righteousness and condemning my lovely Garden as obscene for what else can loveless souls do? To do otherwise would be to confront their own loveless souls and so therefore I would expect to find such loveless souls confronting a Prophet of YAHWEH while destroying Gardens, for, you see, if they cannot go to the Garden no one else is going either.

Because I am a genuine Prophet of YAHWEH I am very oppressed all the time, and I find that I must start over again, over and over and over again, right from the very beginning with each and every person I encounter. Yes, its back to the beginning to start over again, over and over and over again. So therefore, for the benefit of anyone who might stumble upon this blog, and know nothing at all, I will point you in a few directions here to get some background. There are two posts in the September Archive which are relevant here – ‘A trail of bread crumbs’, which is a brief collection of bits of strange evidence that one would expect to see if someone was a Prophet of YAHWEH, and also ‘The Silver Bullet’ which is a creepily weird piece of evidence which one might find around a true genuine Prophet of YAHWEH when you remember that any real Prophet of YAHWEH is bound to be followed in hot pursuit by some furiously pissed off fig leaf peddling snake. There is also a third, and much more important, piece of evidence that I am indeed a Prophet of YAHWEH and that is my mouth. It is quite a mouth. It is a memorable mouth, and I think you will find it hard to forget.

Haunting Porn Stars

It should come as no surprise if a genuine preacher of the Garden of Eden was being chased and hunted down by the furious fig leaf peddling snake. As I pointed out to you people I, alas, must carry around with me the ‘Mark of the Beast.’ Where I live we get our driver’s license when we are sixteen, and we get a ‘Learner’s license’ when we are fifteen, which means that at around the same time in my life that the Heavenly Angels were visiting me at Banff National Park I was also getting some attention from the Fig Leaf Peddling Devils, and consequently when I got my drivers license those devils somehow rigged the lottery balls so that I got the number ‘0 9 0 6 6 6 0 6’. Yes, kiddies, it is ‘6 6 6 ‘, the Mark of the Beast driver’s license. It has caused me trouble already that thing. I go to rent a video, and they want my ID, so I show them that thing, and the clerk turns as white as a ghost because of the abject terror of it all. Sometimes people joke about it. They laugh and say, ‘oh, Mark of the Beast, hey. Ha, ha ha. You must be a bad one.’

Now as I have said before I could go down to that Driver’s License Agency and pound the desk in fury and demand that they take that damn thing a stick it, and we’ll start over with some randomly generated number like ‘394857865’. You know, kiddies, if you are familiar with statistics you would understand that the odds that a Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, such as myself, would pull the Mark of the Beast randomly out of a drum is about one in 999,999,999. Those are very high odds. The point to be made here is that obviously that was intentional.

So then, you may well ask, why is it that I do not pound the desk and ditch the Mark of the Beast. As I have mentioned, I find that thing to be useful in various ways. Let us say that I want to talk about a flying fig leaf peddling snake, for the heavenly places are not just full of Heavenly Angels above. Well it always helps a true Prophet of YAHWEH to have a red flag of warning to run up the old flag pole, and thanks to the generosity of those sociopathic weirdos up above, I just happen to have on my person just such a red flag. I also do not believe in destroying evidence at a crime scene before the case reaches court, and since nailing someone who just wants to go to the Garden of Eden with the Mark of the Beast is a crime, I think I will just hang onto that thing until the case reaches court so that I can prosecute that flying fig leaf peddling snake. There is also a third reason in that people are always saying to me, ‘show us your bread crumbs of evidence’, bread crumbs being what I have right now until I get the full loaf, and then people are always saying, ‘you don’t have enough bread crumbs’, and for that reason I thought I would just hang onto every single damn bread crumb I have, including that Mark of the Beast, because I wouldn’t want to disappoint my many critics by coming up even so much as one bread crumb short.

For, you see, I really am the Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of that lover’s paradise, the Garden of Eden, and YAHWEH really is the God of naked Gardens in sexualized Paradise, despite what your godless abandoned screwed up religions have been telling you for thousands of years, which then goes a long way towards explaining why God has the reputation of being such a ruthless prick who never answers even so much as one prayer. You people are already so fucked up that you believe that God created ‘temptation’ so that you could ‘resist such tempting temptations’ as a form of spiritual weight lifting, and so therefore, given how damned hard it is to stamp out religion and get rid of it once and for all, it would be quite harmful for YAHWEH God to answer the prayers of some religious saint thus convincing everyone that this is the sort of thing which would get the approval of God. Then we would never get rid of religion, now would we. But I digress…

Now I know that after thousands of years of godlessness on this planet, it is quite extraordinarily difficult for a real genuine Prophet of YAHWEH such as myself to preach a damn thing to anyone on this planet, such is the godless end of divorced godless religion, and so for that reason I am content to be Lenny Bruce, the comedian. Every good comedian should have a stable of character roles to play, such as that pulpit pounding moral values preacher that is one of my characters, and which I might play again sometime, if I can think of another truly ironic juxtaposition, which is required to play that character. (How could I resist). Or perhaps I could play the role of creepily strange weirdo of some sort, who comes to haunt your house. You see, if I can’t be the prophet of YAHWEH, given the circumstances at the present time, well then perhaps I can be Lenny or a spook haunting your house, and in that way I can get my agenda done by means of indirection, since the more direct approach probably wouldn’t work out for me. I am versatile and adaptable and eminently reasonable you see. Whatever works for me. How then can I haunt your house and spook you all if I ditched that Mark of the Beast. That would leave me one character role short, and given how damned hard my job is, I wouldn’t want to make it any harder than it already is.

War with Elmer

Now I will switch over to my next character role, that of a General dragging some troops into boot camp, in preparation for war against that fig leaf peddling snake, and against Elmer Gantry, the family values preacher. As my chosen troops to send to the front line in this war, I have chosen the Porn Stars, for the simple reason that they don’t have any fig leaf on, and therefore that is half way to where I want them to be, and one less damnable hard job I have to do, since getting people to ditch the sacred and most holy fig leaf is really hard. Therefore, since the Porn Stars are not wearing a fig leaf, they have attracted the attention of the Prophet of YAHWEH, and now they are going to be drafted into the army.

Yes, you Porn Stars might have plans for your life. In six months you will be here. In five years you will be there. But I have news for you. Your getting drafted and your future plans will become all fucked up because you will be found on the front lines, pulling pins out of grenades with your teeth and firing machine guns, as you try to stop Elmer and the Waffen SS from storming the beaches of Eden.

If you think back over thousands of years of history, you will notice a familiar pattern. The lovers of this world have always taken a supreme shit kicking from Elmer, and have been ruinously defeated in warfare again and again as Eden was overrun by the shock troops of the invading Waffen SS, and the end result has been thousands of years of oppression and those fig leafs peddled by religion. From this we can deduce the fact of life which is that the naked lovers, the true people of God on this planet, are useless fucking shits when it comes to fighting in a war, which is why I am dragging you people off to boot camp for military training. Let me tell you people something, and that is that we are NOT losing this war. Not this time. Not with me on the job we won’t.

However, I am a reasonable person, and I am realistic when it comes to sizing up a situation and seeing what is possible, and so therefore this leads me to conclude that Elmer will storm the beaches of Eden and establish a bridge head, and that once this happens we will have to fight from a disadvantageous position to kick Elmer and his fascists off the beaches of Eden by pushing them back out to sea. I predict this less than desirable result because history teaches me just what a collection of fuck ups you naked lovers, the true people of YAHWEH God, really are and therefore I anticipate more fuck ups on your part.

Yes, it is impossible to fight a war without discipline among the troops, and so therefore you naked lovers must be spanked, and who better to spank you than Elmer. Perhaps you have heard that the Mullahs, the Elmers of Islam, have in recent months just passed a law giving the death penalty to all porn stars. This leads me to wonder if Elmer will have you people stoned or burned at the stake, as his sacred laws say must be done, or whether Elmer will be more lenient and just have you locked up in Alcatraz. As for the fags and dykes, they are supposed to be burned at the stake or stoned to death as well, but perhaps Elmer will be merciful and just terrorize them by persecuting some so as to drive the rest back into hiding in closets. You also have to be concerned about Ramon Watkins and his flying fig leaf peddling snakes that he calls down for people to see. Yes Ramon and his less than merry band of supremely fucked up maniacs definitely want every naked Adam and every naked Eve burned at the stake, although they are willing to be more tolerant right now because that is still against the law, and will remain so until they gain power, at which time you can expect lots of Bible law, yes, every single damned one.

You might notice that your Commander in Chief has been set up by those flying snakes who have pasted a bulls eye onto me, so that I can be used for target practice by Elmer and the Ramons of this world. At the moment Elmer and Ramon are not firing at the bulls eye because you see it is much better that I remain oppressed so that not everyone can hear me, because as Elmer and the Ramons of the world know so very well, anyone who listens to me will be someone who won’t be listening to Elmer or Ramon, unless they are unloving and ruined people who cannot go to a lover’s paradise because they are loveless. In that case they will need religion, but all people who are more normal will listen to me, which is a problem. I won’t be shot at, even though I am a sitting duck here, and even though I am a duck with a death wish who wishes ever so much that someone would shoot me. No I can’t even get shot, at the moment, because it is much better not to draw attention to me. This is wise on the part of Elmer, but sooner or later, Elmer will have to load a gun and start shooting, when it just doesn’t matter anymore, in which case you should expect to see the bullets whizzing past my ears.

Arise, O Naked Lovers, and Shine

Arise, O naked lovers, and shine; for your light has come, and the glory of YAHWEH has risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and thick darkness and gloom the peoples; but YAHWEH will arise upon you, and God’s glory will be seen upon you. The nations shall begin to stream towards your light, and kings to the brightness of your rising. You will lift up your eyes and look round about, and see; they will all gather together, they will come to you; your sons and your daughters shall come from afar. You will see these things happen and your heart shall thrill and rejoice.

For the nation and kingdom that will not serve you shall perish; those nations shall be utterly laid waste.

The followers of those who oppressed you shall come bending low to you; and all who despised you shall bow down at your feet; they shall call you the Garden of YAHWEH, the Eden of the Holy One of Israel. For just as in the past times you have been forsaken and hated, with no one passing through, YAHWEH, Lord of Eden, will make you majestic for ever, a joy from age to age. The sun shall be no more your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you by night; but YAHWEH will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun shall never again go down, nor your moon withdraw itself; for YAHWEH will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning and sadness shall be ended.

For Eden’s sake I will not keep silent, and for the Garden’s sake I will not rest, until her vindication goes forth as brightness, and her salvation as a burning torch. The nations shall see your vindication, and all the kings your glory; and you shall be called by a new name which the mouth of YAHWEH will give. You shall become a crown of beauty in the hand of YAHWEH, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken or Rejected, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate; but you shall be called My delight is in her, and your land Married; for YAHWEH delights in you, and your land shall be married.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I Will Restore the Fortunes of Sodom

I thought it might be interesting to share this little bit of ‘pro-gay activism’ from the ancient world of the Bible. And, yes, although you would never know it based upon accumulated ages of religious doctrine, there is a ‘pro-gay’ slant to the Bible, to conflict with those contradictory gay bashing passages that get most of the attention.

I call this the ‘last days end times fag prophecy’, and for some reason this bit never makes it into those ‘Left Behind’ videos, which is curious, because you think that those end timers would want to be alerted to be on the look out for a big time fag.

"I will restore the fortunes of Sodom and I shall restore yours at the same time. When you bring them comfort you will bear your shame and feel disgraced for what you have done. After your sister Sodom becomes what she was of old, then you yourself will be restored likewise. Did you not speak contemptuously of your sister Sodom in the days of your arrogant pride, before your own wickedness was exposed? Even now you are finding out what it is like to be despised by all your neighbors. Now you must bear the consequences of your lewd and abominable conduct. I shall treat you as you deserve for you have violated the terms of your covenant. You will remember your past conduct and feel ashamed and humiliated so that you will never open your mouth again. This is the Word of Yahweh God." (Ezekiel chapter 16 verse 53)

What you read here obviously conflicts with that bit written down by ‘Jude’ in the Christian part of the Bible, and who was, so they try to tell us, the cousin of Jesus, and being his close relative and all, therefore that would make him an expert on homos, whom he assures us all are even now burning forever in the blackest pits of hell as a warning to everyone else still alive of the severe punishments awaiting anyone else who might become a queer.

It is obvious that when dealing with those innumerable contradictions in the Bible Christians just go with their own book on the theory that it is the most recent and updated version and thus must be the Word of God for that reason alone. Given how perfect Christian documents are one would expect to find God agreeing with Christians, so that everyone would say, ‘Behold, the Christians and their God is with them.’ What we get instead is a bunch of Christians with a freeze dried old document but no god whatsoever, at least not that anyone has ever seen for long ages of time. Rather what we get are apologetics, which is required when you don’t have a god and therefore the task of getting people to think you have one must be outsourced. We also get those infamous Christian lectures on philosophy (the top seven reasons to believe that God exists, even when it sure doesn’t seem to be true). No parting of the Pacific Ocean or treading down mountains for the Christians. As everyone knows they have been alone with nothing but some old book and no god to speak of for a very, very long time, which then allows us to conclude that while Christians do so carry on about the perfection of the very hawkishly religious right documents they voted on in the fourth century, apparently they have had one hell of a time convincing God to think the same way about their handiwork, even though they have had thousands of years to make the attempt.


I remember back when I was a pubescent homo seeing all these racks and racks of naked girlie mags on the store shelves. Boy mags, one, Playgirl, and girly mags, many, many, many. I remember how damned queer the thought seemed to me, almost queer beyond belief, that, yes, there must be lots and lots of guys who would purchase such girlie mags and then whack off looking at, of all the queer ideas, pictures of naked girls.

The idea just seemed so queer to me at the time, and I still struggle with the issue to this very day. However, unlike some people I could mention, just because I find something to be incomprehensibly queer that does not mean that I automatically assume that there must be something wrong with it, and so you can see that as the years have gone by I have learned to accept and live with all of those queer seeming straight guys.

Religion, the Long Neglected Whore

Put on your skirt, make up your face, oh, long neglected whore

Lift up your breasts, let down your hair,

And peddle your wares once more.

When she was a young beauty, and her breasts were forming, she found herself enthralled by thoughts of Caesar. Only Caesar could inflame her heart and only Caesar was man enough to satisfy her intense desire, for his cock was as big as the cock of a mule and his ejaculations poured forth like the ejaculations of a horse. Only the very biggest cock she could find would ever be enough to fill her so completely and so satisfy her burning desire.

Now that she has become such an old whore, and her breasts have sagged and her bottom has fallen, I thought to myself, perhaps now that so very much time has passed while she played the whore, and now that she has aged so very much, perhaps now she might return. But I was wrong and she is still a whore at heart. What is even more remarkable is that there are men who still come to her for her services, even at her very advanced age. Yes, they continue to fornicate with such an aged and sagging old whore.

Sexual Communication

I was talking to some young straight boy and he told me that he had better orgasms whacking off than he did with his girlfriend, and he said, ‘you know how it is.’ The way he said it was as though somehow having better orgasms whacking off was the norm, and most guys would agree with him and understand what he meant, since this was the norm after all.

Now speaking as a homo I can tell you that the best orgasms are not the result of whacking off, and when something like that is going on, it means that someone is not doing things the right way. I know that the very first time I experienced ‘the blow job’ I lost all interest in whacking off pretty much on the spot, since I had other things on my mind.

What this tells me is that after thousands of years of Christianity people are now so sexually repressed that they cannot even communicate with their lovers. They cannot say, ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ or ‘no, more down there’.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Heaven Bound

From time to time I love to get lost in wonderful fantasies, dreaming of life in my Garden, my lovely Garden, the Garden of the Eden of God in Paradise. Oh what would such a life be like? This is not heaven, this Eden, and unlike Heaven Eden is so heavenly to ponder and dream about.

I find myself sitting at my window, sighing with longing, as I gaze out over meadows. Oh where has my long lost lover gone? My loved one is out in the fields of lilies, where the lilies are beyond number, and stretch out in great fields to the horizon. My loved on is gathering lilies. They say that parting is such sweet sorrow, and oh the many such pleasant sorrows are found in my Garden, for there are so many lambs, my darlings, who must leave me to wander in meadows and gather lilies. Oh where, oh where, oh where is my little lamb. My lamb is wandering in the meadows with many lovers, those naked lovers, those lilies of the field whom my soul loves. How can I deny my loved one what I cannot deny myself. Therefore, come, O Lover, let us not spend all our time in longing, that sweet sorrow, but let us have laughter and joy and song and love. Someday my lamb will return, and on that sweet day our days of longing will be forgotten.

Yes, I was lost in dreams, when suddenly to my horror, my heavenly dreams were interrupted by the call, that dreaded call, to come to Heaven, that sterile Heaven up above. There is no Eden in heaven, there are no human beings there, and no valleys full of lilies, and no naked lovers locked in passionate embraces beside bubbling streams in verdant valleys. No this Heaven up above, and no such impurity is tolerated here.

Oh how unhappy I am now, sitting in Heaven, with a harp, singing hymns before once again I must perform my religious duty and it becomes to complete ritual observance of adoring the heavenly face of the Christian god. How my heart pines for the temptations of Eden, that lovely Garden, now that the Christian god has delivered me from all those beautiful temptations and the dreams of passionate embraces and the pleasant times spent with many lambs in the naked Gardens of Paradise. Oh great a temptation it was, but the Christian god is no god of Gardens and is so very hostile to Eden and so fond of fig leafs that to save my soul from impurity that Christian god has forced me to become delivered from those temptations. And they were temptations, the tempting temptations of that greatest of all tempters, the Christian god, for what good would it be to make religion of resisting temptations if the temptations were not so tempting as to be almost impossible to resist.

In my great grief and sorrow, as I sit in Heaven with that Christian god, I find myself falling to my knees in prayer, and in desperation, yet one more time I cry out to my God, the God of Gardens, the generous giver of lovely gifts freely given, the creator of Paradise, the lovers Paradise in Eden, for which my soul and heart long with such great grief and sorrow, all the days I spend jailed in Heaven.

Oh YAHWEH, I pray, my God and my Love and my hope and my only salvation, SAVE ME! Oh, YAHWEH, it is so dreadful here. Some old tyrant has me in his claws and I can’t get away, and to make matters worse this other god is a damnable weirdo. All I was doing was looking at a bare bum and that bullying creepy weirdo showed up and told me to gouge my eyes out with a salad fork. If that wasn’t bad enough, now I can’t even think about a bare bum, because that overbearing bully keeps telling me that thinking about a bare bum is just as bad as looking at a bare bum, and will be therefore punished just as severely. I am desperate, Oh YAHWEH, my Lover and my God, and I am so miserable here in this Heaven that all I want to do is to be allowed to die and go off into a silent grave forever, just so that I can get away from that Christian god, that manipulative Machiavellian son of bitch. But that sadistic weirdo has gone right over the deep end and is now threatening to deep fry in some boiling lake of hot oil like some eternally frying fish stick. Save me, Oh YAHWEH, save me!!!!!!

Snake in the Garden

I am the preacher of little naked Adam and little naked Eve in the Garden of Paradise, with no fig leaf on. However, just in case some kiddies out there might allow their enthusiasm for the lovely lilies of the valley to overcome their better judgment, I would like to introduce a note of caution here, and remind everyone that Adam could wind up with some of that puss coming out of the end of his dick while Eve has genital warts and these really small little crabs crawling around in her pubic hair.

Yes, kiddies, there is a snake in the Garden, and for that reason, even though hugging anyone you want to hug and loving anyone you so fondly love is no sin, it would be reckless to spread crabs and puss all over the place. So, for this reason ‘sexual morality’ must become complex. True sexual morality is not complex. Just be generous and giving and loving and tolerant and lenient and forgiving. Don’t be like the monogamists, harshly judging each cut of meat while looking for the prime cut. Love your lovers. Hitting someone over the head with a mallet is a sin, but an orgasm is not a criminal act. However, in a Garden crawling with snakes, the moral and ethical dilemmas become more difficult to deal with, and deal with them you must, for to do otherwise would be sexual immorality, and you don’t want to become that type of person.

There are other ethical issues involved in human sexuality. Those familiar with biology would know that as a general rule human beings rarely become pregnant. Procreation is actually a secondary feature of human sexuality and its prime function is that it is a bonding tool. You can see the same behavior in other primate species, such as the Bonobo, a species which has sex in various forms, frequently oral sex, including same sex sexual escapades, none of which have anything to do with ‘procreation’, but have everything to do with cementing a strong bond between all the members of that tribe. Human beings have sex a lot and get pregnant a little for the primary function of human sexuality is to cement strong loving bonds between human beings, which then explains why sex feels so very very good.

Fortunately, in the modern world, we have birth control, which allows human beings to deal with the moral and ethical issues that arise from bringing a baby into the world without becoming real sinful and doing such things as taking off and dumping someone because you didn’t want a kid, thus becoming an immoral sinner. The problem is only compounded and made even more sinful by the unnatural monogamous family structure that was forced upon human beings in the process of creating the concept of wealth and private property, for before this time human social organization was tribal, and therefore no woman with a child was ever found to be in a desperate situation. You can get an idea of the natural way in which human infants were once raised by examining the social organization of other primate species, where no one is married and living in separate boxed in cages, but rather live in a tribal association, and you don’t see male monkeys and gorillas trying to jump ship when some female becomes pregnant because in the at social situation there is no such concept as ‘adultery’. What is referred to as ‘adultery’ is a sin which is a product of the organization of society in such a way as to destroy the tribal mentality and replace it with the monogamous mentality of ‘family values’ and private property and those individual caged boxes that are required if we are to make damn sure that the rest of the tribe stays away from our stuff, thus allowing everyone to pile up as much stuff as they can for themselves alone before they drop dead. Call it a game, and the one who wins with the biggest pile of stuff is the declared winner.

NonAbstinent UnChastity

Monogamy is typically preached by religious moralists as the only solution to the ethical problems of having some snake in the Garden. Our moralists are also inveterate liars in that they insist that monogamous nuclear family structures were original when actually they are anomalous, and over the course of human history close to 80 percent of human sexual relationships have been in forms other than monogamous. Human beings are naturally tribal and by nature are polygamous, and monogamy is alien to human beings, as can be proven by the need to preach, threaten, nag and attempt to force human beings to be monogamous, since monogamy is the unnatural invention of a social system that abandoned the tribe in favor of the novel concepts of me, mine and I, and thus was created the notion of private property and those boxed in monogamous cages which are designed not only to box in people but all their precious accumulated possessions as well.

Perhaps for some people monogamy might be something they might want to do, although, truth be told, it is unlikely, over the long term, to prove to be a viable solution, for no human being is genuinely monogamous, which then explains all those sermons and all the pressure and endless constant nagging that is required so as to promote something as alien as monogamy to a naturally polygamous primate such as a human being.

The argument in favor of monogamy can be demonstrated to be false by simply demonstrating that there are alternatives that provide satisfactory solutions to all the moral and ethical dilemmas of life in the Garden shared with some snake. Each of these solutions has the one additional virtue not possessed by such an artificial creation as monogamy, in that they do not involve peddling the nonsensical fig leaf of some snake in the Garden, a practice which, as we know, is closely associated with monogamy and with the religions of this world as well, all of which are quite clearly seen to be fig leaf peddling snakes.

Examples of such alternatives would include the closed polygamous circle, which resembles monogamy, in that it is a closed system, but which is polygamous and thus more closely in tune with the actual desires of authentic human nature. Always in vogue is serial monogamy, with or without the cycle of formal marriage followed by formal divorce, which is only required to keep up appearances by appearing to be monogamous and thus following the rules.

Ruined Porn Stars

I followed some links today, and came across some Brazilian gay porn stars. What a sad looking little fellow he was. Yes, life could be sweet but life is oh so short and the bloom goes off the rose so quickly, and the leaves wilt and the petals fall to the ground.

I told myself that I would ‘emotionally detach’ from the lives of those around me, but I can’t do it. I still feel everything.

What is even sadder to me is that Brazil is so very far away, and even if I could not get a sad little Brazilian gay boy to believe that I was the Prophet of YAHWEH, I would, at the very least, like to be able to perform my gig, do my Lenny Bruce thing, for that sad little boy from Brazil, and all the other boys in Poland and other places far and wide. You see, YAHWEH is coming, sooner or later, yes, it is coming, it is coming, it will come, and I am haunted by the thought of ignorant porno stars, who never heard the sound of my voice, cringing and hiding under beds, only to come up from under those beds and give their souls to the religious right and become short term poster boys for the ex-gay movement. And to think that if only I could have somehow, someway, beaten the odds that are always stacked against me, and did my gig, while it still might have been true that a little sad gay boy was hiding under the bed because of the wrath of YAHWEH, at least that boy would come up from under the bed jubilant with joy instead of being some boy filled with superstition ignorant dread, the victim of thousands of years of religious vomit on the altar, and then become a ruined porn star.

For this reason, I would like to urge anyone, anywhere, to tell anyone, anywhere about Lenny. It might be to embarrassing for you to tell them about the Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, so therefore I will make it a little easier for you, and you can tell them about Lenny.

The Doghouse

I follow orders. Now anyone who thinks that I do not follow orders is welcome to come visit me, pull up a lawn chair, and watch the dancing angels.

My orders, which I received this May, were to get that ‘American Imperialism’ to do a little laser surgery on Iran, by excising a cancer, the military force of Iran, in particular those Revolutionary Guards, or the rest of them as well should that be required, for you see, an Islamic Mullah without a gun is a Mullah being run out of town on a rail. It is not like Mullahs can win popularity contests which then explains why they have plans to hold the unwilling people of Iran at gunpoint forever and ever, Amen.

Now the reason why YAHWEH wants this done is to make the point that Allah, the fig leaf peddling snake, is an idol, for you see after sitting motionless on a carved stump for 1400 years, Allah could not even save his glorious Islamic Republic from one lousy country when one that one country kicked those Mullahs in the ass, which isn’t saying much for Allah as far as being a god is concerned.

Preaching this message and following my orders, gets me sent to the doghouse. For some fucking reason the liberal and leftist types are playing the game of rally round the Mullah. Save the Mullah. Glory to the Mullah, and the glorious resistance to ‘American Imperialism’. After those Mullahs terrorized and publicly executed two adolescent gay boys, our wonderful liberal churches sent over a peace delegation to wine and dine with those Mullahs, and then began their cross country tour to deliver their church message : ‘Adminejad, he’s not so bad.’ These are not monsters, those churches told us, as they worked to ‘humanize’ those murderous, tyrannical Mullahs. You see, you really do have to react strongly when a prophet of YAHWEH is one the move. As for our liberal and leftist types, they aren’t locked up in a dungeon, or pumped full of red hot lead, as is the customary treatment Islamists have meted out to liberals and leftists in the previous century, as we know, which means that our liberals and leftists are quite free to play rally round the Mullah. You see they are free to do so because they are 1.) alive and 2.) not locked up in a dungeon somewhere.

I would like to ask my little lambs, who might be about to send me to the doghouse over some fucking Mullah, just where do you plan to go, little lamb. Oh, little lamb, where will you go? Your ancestors were perpetually fucking up when it came to their idiotic rebellions against YAHWEH, and as you know, your ancestors went nowhere, because, you see, there is no where to go but to the Garden of Eden, and when you are going somewhere else that means that you are going nowhere, because there is nowhere else to go.

Hopefully, American Imperialism will ignore all the chattering fucks in that country, and obey their orders, so that we can avoid such nasty things as rolling bowling balls rolling into that country one after another, or perhaps things even worse than that. YAHWEH is very sympathetic, and thus it takes some time for YAHWEH to get supremely pissed off, but as is the case for those who choke back their anger and hold it in for so damned long, when it does come out, its volcanic. Hopefully we can avoid any such upcoming vulcanism, and since American Imperialism knows much more about me and what is going on, and therefore has better to reason to believe me when I tell them that these are my orders, it is my hope that American Imperialism can skip the vulcanism and do what they are ordered to do.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Islam and the Broom of Destruction

I am the prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, a lovers paradise, the gift of the God of lovers, where are all great lovers of humanity belong. Now no lover would find anything offensive about my Garden or find themselves repelled by my preaching of the thrilling fun and the many passions of my paradise, but there are those who are not lovers of humanity, and therefore who are not lovers, and they are offended. Yes, if they should find a lover loving humanity as lovers do then its up against the wall the be cut down in a hail of machine gun fire, or its off with their head with the headless corpses of these lovers hurled to the ground and put on display as a warning to any other lovers of what becomes of lovers under the rule of Islam.

How I long for my Garden and the many lovers whom I love and who I long to hold in a passionate embrace, for you see, I am a normal human being and so naturally I would find such ideas to be intoxicating and very lovely to consider. An Islamist, in the other hand, is a supremely fucked up warp minded weirdo of some sort as you can tell by the fact that they find lovers loving lovers to be deeply offensive. Therefore they offer the lovers, Adam and Eve, as a human sacrifice, as food for their idol.

It is Adam and Eve, the naked lovers, who are the true people of God on this planet. YAHWEH is the God of lovers as you can see for yourself when you consider all the lilies of the field and find yourself enraptured by the intoxication of those temptations. Adam and Eve, should they ditch the fig leaf and return to their Garden paradise, will find that they are in danger, they live in mortal peril, for there is snake in the Garden, a murderous Islamic snake in the grass destroying the Garden of Paradise, the Eden of God.

Therefore this is the Word of YAHWEH God. This planet will be swept with the broom of destruction, the nations will be shaken through the sieve of destruction, and Islam, and anything else like it, will be destroyed and wiped off the face of this planet. No more idol worshipper, no more idol. Ages of time have passed and those stump sitting wood blocks have not so much as batted an eye lash. Are you people so atrociously stupid that you still think that motionless garden wrecking log stump is a god? YAHWEH is a God of furious jealousy and if you idol worshippers remain stubbornly unrepentant and refuse to stop bowing down to those ruinously brain damaging blocks of wood, then the idols will be removed from paradise by removing you from paradise. This will be done, one damnable way or the other, and with YAHWEH, there is always one more damnable way. No more idols. There will be no more idols found on this planet, and if that means there won’t be one single idol worshipper left standing on this planet at the end of it all, then that’s the way it will be. You gain nothing for yourself by your ruinously idiotic display of stubbornness.

Therefore this is the Word of YAHWEH God, to the people of God, to those great lovers of humanity, to those lovers of Gardens and lilies, the naked lovers who love lovely dreams of the Paradise of Eden, and who find no offense in it. “Do not be afraid for I have called you by name and you are my people. When the storms arise I will be with you, and you will not be overwhelmed. I will give entire nations in exchange for you life, because you are precious in my sight and honored and I love you. I will rid the earth of those who hate you or threaten you, and in exchange for your life I will rid the earth of entire nations,” says YAHWEH of Hosts, God of Lovers and Lord of Paradise, whose jealousy is dreadful and terrible and whose wrath is greatly to be feared.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Islam - fig leaf peddling snake

Islam is another one of those religions that has existed for ages of time without any god, or at least no god that the world would recognize. Such gods we would expect to see parting oceans, perhaps, or treading down mountains, or doing something, anything at all to let us know that they were gods. But alas the deeds of an idol are nonexistent and so therefore we have godless religion as a substitute, and therefore we have Muslims doing the work of Allah, since apparently Allah found it necessary to outsource all the ruthless oppression and the attacks on human beings for simply being human beings. Just this week some Muslim fanatics sawed the head off two women in Pakistan whom they accused of being sexually loose women. Apparently Allah was preoccupied, but then Allah has been busy elsewhere for 1400 years and so that is nothing new.

If we ‘accept Islam’, as we are so often invited to do, we could all walk around covered in sacks with peep holes for our eyes, while crazed fanatics gun people down with shot guns because they caught them fucking and so they were offered up as another one of those human sacrifices that Muslims feed to their hungry idol. We could all then pretend that we so love that ruthless old bugger who rules over it all by bending down snout first to the earth to show our humble submission.

As for those of us who are not Muslims, but just said that we were Muslims so they wouldn’t hack us with the sword of Islam, we could hide out at home, behind our closed doors, heave a huge sigh of relief, and spend some private secret time living our hidden human lives while we enjoy the forbidden luxury of not being a Muslim protected by the safety of the four walls in the privacy of our own homes, provided that those fanatics do not bust into our homes by kicking the door down and catch us at it. Here we can see that life as a Muslim nation would be like buying lottery tickets every day, for there are so many private homes, and those fanatics can only boot the door down in so many private homes on any given day, so perhaps we can not be a Muslim in the privacy of our own homes and not get our ticket punched because our number did not come up.

I call myself the Prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, and I speak of a lovely garden paradise where we could find Adam and Even without the fig leaf, living with the God of lovers in a lover’s paradise. Now there are many things that can be found about religion that is deeply offensive, but there is one thing that can be said about my preaching and that is that it is not offensive, or at least it should not be offensive, for what human being in their right frame of mind would turn down a chance to love their many lovers in an enchanted lovers paradise. For some damned reason this idea is offensive to Muslims, who wish to not only deny themselves the fun and the joy of a lovers paradise but also want to saw the heads off any lovers they find. Apparently they prefer rituals such as bowing snout down in humble submission before some cruel ruthless son of bitch, who creates tempting temptations only to crush the dreams and break the hearts of humanity by sending out Muslims with saws and knives to make damn sure that no one becomes intoxicated with the allure of those tempting temptations. If this is not the definition of a son of a bitch I do not know what would be, but apparently Muslims, who hate lovers and who despise the lovers paradise, much prefer the holiness of bowing snout down to the ground in submission to that son of a bitch. There is only one thing to be said for that bastard Allah and bowing snout down before that ruthless prick and that is that it is better than burning in hell. At least you can avoid that dreadful fate, and even if you cannot walk through fields of lilies embracing your many lovers in a lovers paradise, which is something which would thrill a human heart, at least you will not be in hell.

Not being in hell seems to be about the only positive thing I can think of to say about something as demented and screwed up as Islam and its Koran, since loving your lovers in a lovers paradise would be so much better than ‘accepting Islam’, so much so that I can only see someone ‘accepting Islam’ just to get out of going to hell, there being so little positive to be said about the life of human slavery that follows Islam.. If you accept Islam you will survive, even though you will never really live, for you see that fig leaf peddling snake doesn’t love lovers and hates paradise, which then explains all those sacks covering Eve and those knives sawing off the heads of Adam or Eve, should those two lovers in paradise fall into the hands of those who have become deranged by just one more godforsaken religion.

Iranian Mullah

One of my jobs as prophet of YAHWEH is to dispatch any messages from YAHWEH that I receive, and according to what I was told a couple of weeks ago Allah may have one country in his hip pocket, the Islamic Republic of Iran, but not for very much longer. If Allah wants to keep up appearances and maintain some kind of decent reputation on this planet for being a god of some sort then Allah better do the stump hop and ditch the fourteen hundred year long slumber and do something real fast, because it will take a god of some kind to save those Islamic Mullahs who have YAHWEH, the God of the Lovers Paradise gunning for them. You see, YAHWEH has this sore spot for fig peddling snakes who destroy the Garden in the Lovers Paradise, for unlike Allah, YAHWEH is the God of Lovers, as you can tell by all those glorious temptations and by the loveliness of the preaching of Gardens in Paradise filled with rejoicing lovers loving their lovers.

Now some time ago I warned our friends the liberals and the leftists that it might be a good idea to keep their busy tongues still and not stick their foot into their mouths when it came to this showdown between ‘American Imperialism’ and those provocative Mullahs in Tehran. However those people have no respect for the office of a Prophet of YAHWEH, and so as I have been sitting on the sidelines watching I have seen them all become afflicted with a terrible case of foot in mouth disease. Apparently they have this one size fits all analysis which can be trotted out for every adventure of ‘American Imperialism’ and so of course we are all being treated to ominous scenarios of mass protest and anger sweeping Iran when those Revolutionary Guards are blown to Kingdom Come and those Mullahs are toppled, because a Mullah without a gun to hold on the people of Iran is a Mullah without so much as a pot to piss in. I mean its not like Allah was some kind of god and thus could serve as a backup to those Revolutionary Guards. No, I think once a little laser surgery is done on Iran those Mullahs will find themselves short one god in one hell of big hurry, since it turns out that all those Iranian Mullahs had was a gun and they had no god, as unfolding events will very soon prove to be the case, which is exactly the point YAHWEH wishes made.

As for our liberals and leftist friends, they will be eating their own foot when, instead of widespread anger and disaster sweeping over Iran, there is massive rejoicing and dancing in the streets. Here we are assuming that ‘American Imperialism’ does not fuck things up by blowing up the people of Iran and ruining their country, which would be the only thing that will save those sour prognosticators, those liberals and leftist types from choking on their own feet. All the standard shop worn clich├ęs are being recklessly trotted out, the bit about how in their great anger the people of Iran will rally around the Mullahs in Tehran in their outrage against ‘American Imperialism’, which is something that will happen when pigs fly, or that while the Iranian people are dancing in the streets in celebration somehow the rest of the Middle East will go up like a bomb in furious anger, which would be very strange indeed. Apparently you can only love a Mullah if you don’t have to live in the same country as a Mullah. I tried to warn those sour and dismal prognosticators, the liberals and leftists, to shut the fuck up and keep those feet out of their mouths, but as I said, for them it is one size fits all, or so it would seem, and now they will be sucking on their own toes for quite some time once their ruined reputations get flushed right down the shitter because they did not listen to the sage advice of a prophet of YAHWEH, but instead showed contempt.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Ramon Watkins

There is this character on the loose in the United States, who claims to be a prophet, and goes by the name ’Propnhet Yahweh’ (link to his blog). He also a You Tube Channel online. What Ramon does, or what he once did before I shut him down about two years ago, is that he calls down UFOs while people are watching, and then he preaches a big pile of stone aged superstitions based upon ruthless application of those awful laws found in the first five books of the Bible. Yes, Ramon is not much a lover of loving your lovers in the Gardens of Paradise, but he is quite keen on stoning to death porn stars and lynching homos and dykes, and there are many other weirdo ideas found in those laws, such as sacrificing pigeons and using their blood to clean mold and mildew out of your house, and I would suppose we can all expect to be forced to do those stone aged rules and regulations as well.

In a post in the September column titled ‘The Silver Bullet’ I mentioned to you people about those sociopathic weirdos I refer to as ‘the dragons’ and I showed you what evidence I had on those ‘dragons’. Ramon can show you even more evidence on those dragons, assuming that he finally gets something going and can call down a flying dragon for you people to see, so that he can save your soul by forcing you live under stoned aged Bible law. Keep in mind, people, that if you ‘get saved’ by Ramon, you cannot go to the Garden of Eden to spend your time with the God of Lovers loving your lovers, which is something you would want to do and would be a God someone could actually love, but instead you will have to live under Ramon’s ruthless theocracy being ruled over by a sadistic son of bitch, a god no one could love, and doing things no one wants to do, but will do if they feel this is the only way to save their souls from the merciless bastard and his lakes of fire.

I am writing here about Ramon because now that I am finding my voice and becoming more of a poet perhaps, and maybe, just maybe, I might be able to reach some people, in particular porn stars, with the message of the Gardens of Paradise, I see that Ramon and his followers are suddenly getting lots of attention at the same time, which concerns me, because those things he is calling down are ‘devils’ and certainly not angels. We know they are ‘devils’ because only a devil would help Ramon and his friends ‘save the world’ while a compassionate angel would help you go to the Garden of Paradise where you could love your many lovers, the gift of the God of Lovers, since the Garden is a lovers paradise. This should be obvious, but for some fucked up reason people get convinced that they need to cut their balls off and poke their eyeballs out of their heads with a salad fork when some preacher of vile superstitions manages to convince them that some god is actually a deranged maniac.

You do need to be concerned about Ramon because he is not just another religious nut. He actually does call down devils and now he has disciples calling down devils in various places in the world. One of his disciples posted the following grave warning to the unsaved souls of the world.


Yes, you really don’t want to fuck up by adding on that letter ‘J’ thus screwing up your names and going to hell for it. This is how screwy Ramon’s followers become, and it needs to concern you, because Ramon is for real. Don’t get me wrong. He is no prophet. He works for weird fig leaf peddling snakes from above who have the psycho agenda of destroying gardens. The more successful I am the more likely you will be seeing more of Ramon and his friends and the more trouble they will be causing.

If you scroll down the September column you will find a piece titled ‘A trail of Bread Crumbs’ where I toss out a few pieces of evidence that I am a prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden of Eden, and one of those pieces of evidence is photographs of an experiment I was briefly conducting in reversing the aging process, which resulted in my half healed nose. I say half healed nose because I decided to leave the rest for later when I finally was able to get your complete and undivided attention. However, with Ramon getting busier, and looking like he might get busier still and cause havoc, I thought it would be good to perhaps pick up where I left off. Instead of cooling my heels and waiting in the lobby, perhaps I should get a running start on things.

I also intend to deal with Ramon by giving a few Bible teachings myself. For example, you can find a humorous satirical send up of The Ten Commandments on the linked page. You need to scroll to the bottom of the page, since the entire page is not on the Commandments. Ramon’s horrifying end times scenario of planetary destruction and lakes of fire for most of humanity etc etc is based heavily upon Revelations which is based heavily upon Daniel. Now I have already pointed out years ago that the Book of Daniel is a False Prophecy, and anyone interested can visit the link to consider the argument for yourself. I also have a page on heresy and forgery in the Bible which might be of some use.

Now the point to be made here is that I am so critical concerning that ruinous book, the Bible, and attempt to be so brutally honest, because I care about people and I don’t give a damn about doctrines, which is one of the main differences between myself and Ramon.

I thought I would post a few words about Ramon because it seems to me, the way things are working out, that your country, not to mention the planet, is about to be punished by getting Ramon Watkins as their prophet since they did not want me as a prophet, and you are going to have one hell of time dealing with the ruinous superstitions being spread around by that magician.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Guru, the Poet

I feel that I have exhausted that persona I created, the tub thumping preacher ranting about moral values, at least for the time being. Now I feel a new urge coming on, the desire to be your Guru, your spiritual guide, and perhaps, if I can manage it, your poet. My spiritual guidance will only be of value to those repentant sinners who have turned from their sinful ways, and no longer indulge that grave sin of being back stabbing gossip. If you have crossed that bridge then perhaps you can benefit from my spiritual wisdom and you might appreciate the few bread crumbs I have to toss your way, such bread crumbs being what I have to toss out to let you know that I really am a prophet of YAHWEH, preacher of the Garden. This will have to do until the time of the banquet when we can feast together upon the entire loaf, but for a repentant sinner even bread crumbs should suffice, for as I have come to understand it is only unrepentant sinners who keep demanding that I meet their high standards and go off to bring back ever more of those all important bread crumbs. Now keep in mind that your spiritual guide is a fuck up, and so if I leave you scratching your head, wondering what the hell I am doing now, well just give me some time to figure it out myself, and then we’ll both know.

A few lyrics from the song ‘All Night Long’

Well my friends the time has come
To raise the roof and have some fun
Throw away the work to be done
Let the music play on ...
Everybody sing, everybody dance
Lose yourself in wild romance
We're going to Parti', Karamu', Fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along
We're going to Parti', Karamu', Fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along

People dancing all in the street
See the rhythm all in their feet
Life is good, wild and sweet
Let the music play on ...
Feel it in your heart and feel it in your soul
Let the music take control
We're going to Parti', Liming, Fiesta, forever
Come on and sing along
We're going to Parti', Liming, Fiesta, forever
Come on and sing my song

Into the Fire

Lyrics by Sarah McLachlan, that poet of Eden.

Mother teach me to walk again
Milk and honey so intoxicating

And into the fire
I’m reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the fire
I yearn for comfort

Open the doors that lead on in to Eden
No more cheap disguise
I follow the signs marked back to the beginning
No more compromise

Free the water that carries me to the sea
You I see as my security

I will stare into the sun until it’s light doesn’t blind me
I will walk into the fire until it’s heat doesn’t burn me
And I will feed the fire

Heaven Bound

How very lovely it has been to stroll through the Garden of God. How my heart thrills when I dream my dreams of the Paradise of Eden. How I long to linger there forever with my loved one.

Now Paradise is a vast Garden with endless rolling hills and countless streams and who can measure it. Many are its fruits. I have such a vivid imagination that I can actually feel the passionate release that I might feel if my loved one came to me after an absence of two hundred years spent gathering lilies in the valleys of paradise, and then returned to me. As I my arms wrap around my lover in a passionate embrace I can feel the intensity of that embrace. They do say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and an absence of two hundred years without my lover in my arms, I was feeling very, very fond of my lover when at long last my lover returned to me.

Yes, the Garden is an everlasting paradise, and so very many are its many fruits, and I would imagine that parting for two hundred years would be such sweet sorrow, and many would be the moments of such sweet sorrow, for how could I deny my lovers what my own heart desires, which is to wander through the fruit orchards filling my basket with peaches or walking beside swiftly running streams gathering lilies, for is not this paradise, this wonderful Garden, is not a lovers paradise.

Oh sweet embrace, oh the wonderful release of passion fulfilled, for my lover has returned to my arms after two hundred years. Oh my darling, my little one, my precious one, my love, how very good it is to embrace you once again. Oh how I have longed for you my love. Come, tell me where you have been. Who have you met, who have you embraced, who has captivated you, oh my wanderer, my little dove, my little lamb, my love.

Yes, I certainly do have a vivid imagination, because I can actually feel the passion of such an embrace when I imagine life in the Garden of Paradise where I know my lovers will be roaming the valleys and walking by the streams looking for lilies and gathering fruit with which to fill their baskets. Oh happy day, oh longing fulfilled when my lover returns after an absence of two hundred years.

I am a human being and many are the lovers I long to embrace for an eternity, if only for a moment at a time. It is this captivating vision of the beauty of human love that can so captivate a human heart that makes me abhor the thought of being heaven bound.

Yes, there are other gods we hear about besides YAHWEH, but they cannot win my heart. Oh abhorrent heaven up above, where I would sit on clouds playing some harp, while forever I must mourn my lost paradise. If the only goal in life is to escape the ruthless punishments of some so called who hates Eden then I suppose there might be something to say for dying and becoming a ghost and being heaven bound. If mere survival is enough to satisfy then perhaps even the sterilized life of the saints in heaven might be enough to satisfy. But how will I ever forget the longing in my heart for the Garden of Paradise, where I have walked if only for a brief time with my lovers here on earth. Oh, taste of Paradise, the gift of YAHWEH, my lover and my God.

Oh sterile heaven, enemy of my paradise, my lovely Garden in Eden, how could I ever love thee. Oh crusher of dreams, oh miserly scrooge, oh heavenly god. Leave me to my temptations and take thy holiness away from me, and give me death before heaven. At least in death all will silent and I will no longer pine for my lost Eden, my paradise in the Garden. Oh spare me the foul and ferocious ministrations of thy fierce and fiery hell and grant me this one small dignity of a quiet peaceful death. Oh mighty one, grant me death as you deliver me from temptations and slam the door eternally on my Garden Paradise.

How brutal and how cruel are the ministrations of these other gods whose names are mentioned here on earth, but whose names will be forgotten forever in the Gardens of Paradise.

Jig Saw Puzzle

As I have been experimenting with maintaining a blog it has occurred to me that a blog as a literary form is much like a jig saw puzzle. All you can do is to toss out a pile of puzzle pieces, and if there remain on earth those people who have a talent for working jig saw puzzles, perhaps they might be able to assemble the pieces and come up with a picture.

Perverted Pies

I thought I would post a red flag warning that if you proceed ahead in this blog you may get rudely slammed in the face by a tossed perverted sounding pie. Now previously I mentioned that one reason why I was tossing such a pie was out of anger at religion and a wish to be provocative. It has occurred to me that there was a second motivation for my tossing of perverted sounding pies, and this motive was probably more compelling as a driving force than the former explanation.

I am like a barn storming preacher ready to go out crusading around the nation, while pounding a pulpit and damning that most damnable of sins that so pisses me off – gossip, the destroyer of worlds.

People build dungeons, the lay brick upon brick, they make the walls thick, like the walls of a mighty fortress, and then everyone must enter in and dwell in the depths of this dungeon. What comes around goes around. Today the gossiper, tomorrow the gosipee.

Everyone has these all to human little quirks and kinks, those dreadful little secrets that no one must ever know, and therefore to protect ourselves from the flying knives and from the barbs of those razor edged tongues, everyone must live secretive hidden lives. No one must ever know, and the thought that somehow they might find out is just dreadful.

For this reason I thought I would be provocative and toss a few kinks into a shopping cart, in the hopes that these few items might be enough to satisfy any gossip who might stop by. Hopefully what is tossed into that cart will be enough to satisfy because I don’t want to toss such pies anymore and instead I wish to move on to doing other things, now that I have done my bit to satisfy the salacious, who might have been wondering to themselves just what kind of muck might be dug up around my pad. Consider each perverted pie to be a gift from me to you.

Meet Romeo, the little Adam

I have told the story of how I climbed the Mountain of Paradise in Banff National Park, and with a prayer, I cracked open those locked and sealed pearly gates. Now since no one has ever received an answer in prayer from God in thousands of years, no one believes me when I try to tell them that, yes, I did get a magnificent and glorious answer from the one they consider to be such a ruthless, merciless, pitiless scrooge and a son of a bitch.

In the hopes that it might help to convince people that it is possible to crack open those infamously locked and barred pearly gates, I thought that I would try yet one more time to introduce people to Romeo, the naked little Adam, for it was Romeo the little Adam who had the ear of God that evening, and perhaps if they knew Romeo they might be able to understand why the heart of God was so moved with passionate desire that no lock or bar would be allowed to stand in the way of a passionate embrace.

I was Romeo, the little lover, and I loved Adam. Oh how passionately I loved Adam. I saw all these little quirks and the all to human foibles and weaknesses in little Adam, and each time I saw such things, it always aroused within me these feelings of passionate love and compassionate affection. Human fuck ups seem to be required before my love reaction is triggered, and this seems to be true of me to this very day. I have told the story of how I began to do internet research on porn stars, in the hopes of humanizing these people who seemed like strangers to me, and who I very much wanted to know. My search led me to stumble upon Sean Lockhart, who, I discovered, is a fuck up, and this discovery of the humanity of Sean then triggered off feelings of overwhelming passion. I haven’t changed a bit since the time when I was Romeo the little Adam. I became so very fond of Sean. I love Sean Lockhart so very, very much, and I was so very happy that my research had led me to Sean and gave me the opportunity to get to know him. It was a little more than I was expecting when I began my research, but I was very pleased with the results, for I think it was this reaction of love and affection that I was hoping to find all along.

I was Romeo, but I was also little Adam, and how I loved to go walking in the Garden of Eden with my friend, that buck naked little Adam in the boy’s locker room after gym class. I loved Adam from the top of his head down to the tip of his toes. His body was like a wonderland, and he thrilled me so. It was all so mysterious, and none of it made any sense, but the very mystery of sexual attraction stirred up within me the most passionate feelings of love for God who had given me this glorious gift of thrilling sexual excitement.

How I loved YAHWEH, the God of the Garden of Eden, the giver of such generous gifts in such glorious abundance. I loved Adam, body and soul, and it was because I so passionately loved Adam that I so passionately loved God. I was a very devout child, and I was communing with God all the time, these times spent with God being one of the powerful memories of my youth. My prayers were filled with the same passion that I felt for Adam, for I loved YAHWEH and I loved YAHWEH’s beautiful garden.

The Christian God

How I longed to enter into paradise, to walk forever with Adam over verdant fields and beside bubbling streams, gathering lilies. I swore to my God that I would be loving Adam until long after the sun went nova, and even long after the last of the stars in heaven’s firmament burned out.

How generous were the gifts of YAHWEH, for I loved Adam not only for his mind or for those little quirks and foibles and failings that always aroused such passionate love within me, but I also loved Adam’s body. How lovely was his back and the way it curved down and then became his bum. His body was like marble inlaid with every sort of precious and wonderful jewel. The excitement, the mysterious passion his naked body would arouse within me was intoxicating and so very beautiful. How I longed to walk through the Garden of Paradise forever, with Adam, my love.

Now let us consider the Christian God, for unlike YAHWEH, the God of the Garden of Eden, whom I loved and revered with an unbridled passion, I hated that Christian God with a fervor that was equal and opposite to the love I felt for YAHWEH.

What a dirty old bastard that Christian God seemed to be to me. First the miserable prick created the enchanting allure of the naked Garden, that glorious Eden, and that lovely creature, Adam. It was so very intoxicating, and the Christian God gave this intoxication a name. It was called ‘temptation.’ Now no ‘temptation’ could ever be a genuine ‘temptation’ unless it was genuinely ‘tempting’. Since this bastard, the Christian God, was planning to ban all temptation, first it was required to create temptation, and to make it ever so tempting so that it would be a temptation so that temptation could be resisted.

Yes, that loathsome and warp minded Christian God expected me to resist the Garden, the lovely and intoxicating Garden, and to resist that glorious temptation so that I could become worthy of the sterility of some placed called heaven. In heaven there were no bodies, no filthy genitals, and no obscene bare bums to tempt me and cause me to go down into hell. I would be pure, for the Christian God wanted purity of heart, and that meant resisting those intoxicating and very alluring temptations of that most glorious of Gardens.

How I longed to walk naked forever through the Garden of Paradise, but that Christian God said no, that can never be. It was for me to become a ghost and live a pure and sacred life up in heaven. No Garden of Eden in Paradise for me.

I loved YAHWEH’s lovely Garden, and I loved to look at Adam, my beautiful lovely Adam. It was so very tempting to look at Adam. It was more than just tempting, it was irresistible and so mysteriously intoxicating. But the Christian God said that there would be no looking at Adam. It was tempting to look at Adam, his round bottom, his beautiful penis, his wonderful flat chest, yes it was irresistible, it was so very tempting, but I was to resist temptation, for it was tempting me, so ordered the Christian God. If I was unable to resist such an alluring and intoxicating temptation as was the naked human body then the Christian God said that I should take a steak knife and gouge the eyes right out of my head and throw those two eyeballs into fiery hell, for it would be better for me to go through life blind, and not being tempted, than for me to follow those two tempted eyeballs into hell. If I could not stop jerking off, then it would be better, said that Christian God, that I chop both hands off and throw those hands into the fiery hell, right along with those two gouged out eyeballs. Yes, it was tempting, that Christian God had made it all so tempting, and so only severe measures would ever make someone like me a suitable candidate to have my balls cut off and have myself turned into a permanently asexual ghost up in spiritual sexless heaven.

Now how could you not hate a manipulative old bastard like that fucking son of a bitch, the Christian God? Just as the love I felt for YAHWEH and for YAHWEH’s glorious Garden of Paradise was endless and eternal, so the hatred I felt in my heart for that loathsome oppressor, the Christian God, was also eternal, and while I longed to live for and with YAHWEH, the only desire I felt in my heart as it concerned that Christian God was to be allowed to die and cease to exist forever, disappearing into the void of nonexistent eternal blackness, rather than having that ruthless fucker throwing me into the lake of fiery hell. This humble request of mine, for eternal nonexistence seemed to be not to much to ask of that ruthless fucker, but there was no way to be sure if such a request would ever be granted by such a sadistic maniac.

I can only love God if I also love Adam, and if I love Adam’s body, for to sincerely and genuinely love God is to love YAHWEH’s Garden and to be a lover who dreams of sexual paradise, for YAHWEH is like a passionate lover and only a lover who longs to embrace their loved one can ever know God or love God.


If you are familiar with human anatomy and its development in the womb would know that we all start out as females, and we have a clitoris and ovaries. When appropriate hormones are released, a clitoris can then become a penis while ovaries drop out of the body cavity and become testicles.

A clitoris is the progenitor of the penis, and as every boy knows, there is nothing as glorious as the feeling of warm wetness wrapped around such a sensitive organ as the penis. The same is true of the clitoris. While a boy can slip a penis into a vagina and enjoy all the thrills that paradise has to offer, a clitoris has nowhere to go to experience such rapture. Therefore the clitoris must be sucked.

Now notice that I say that a clitoris must be sucked. Would a boy enjoy having his penis licked like a Popsicle? Boring. A clitoris is the female equivalent of the male penis, and it should be sucked the way a male would enjoy having his penis sucked. A clitoris should not be licked like a Popsicle stick.

Among the Bonobo apes the sucking of the female clitoris is a standard part of the Bonobo sexual repertoire. That the only useful purpose for a clitoris is that it should be sucked is something so obvious that even a monkey could figure it out, and this makes me mourn all those Christian women who lived in Christian societies over the ages of time and who therefore only got fucked and who never experience the same passion that a man experiences because they never had their clitoris properly sucked.

So therefore it is an act of sexual immorality for a man to be a pig and how that he is a selfish pig by being a glutton when it comes to pleasing himself by wrapping warm wetness around his own cock, while ruthlessly denying the same feeling of ecstasy to a woman. You get down there and suck that clitoris, straight boy, or it’s no more pussy for you, boy.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007


I have been doing some thinking here, and it has occurred to me that perhaps it was not a fig leaf peddling snake who wrote pervert on my word processor, but that it could in fact have been YAHWEH who wrote ‘pervert’ just to clue me in and let this brain dead moron know that I just look like a pervert to you people.

It is my practice to not erase my traces. I do not use the delete button and I usually leave all my fuck ups out for the world to see. However the last thing in the world I need is to encourage people to be perverts, because this planet is already fucked up enough as it is.

Now let me explain my psychological motivations for being so shocking and brutally frank in writing about sex. It is motivated by a fury against religion and the deep hatred against God that religion creates in the human heart. If you wanted to invent someway to make the human heart overflow with ever lasting hatred towards God, there is no better way to accomplish this task that I can think of than to create a bare ass and then create a ‘temptation’ which will have to be resisted lest a ruthless bully come around and soak you with gasoline and then throw a fucking match onto the gasoline because you failed to resist that temptation. When I think about that fucked up thing known as religion, and in particular when I think about the Roman Catholic Church, the mother of such fuck ups, my frustration and fury with those dogmatic fuck ups and the years and years of stubbornly unrepentant pointless dogmatism coming from that godless godforsaken place known as a church, a great anger rises up inside me. I want to ram the biggest pie on earth right into the face of that church and just leave them to sit there and wait and maybe, just maybe, after two thousand years of being godforsaken and deserted perhaps a god of some kind or another might show up with a towel and wash the pie off the face of that fucked up place. It does seem rather unlikely.

Think of two thousand years of religion as being a scientific experiment. We can see that even if you repeat that same fucking experiment over and over and over again for two thousand fucking fucking years you get the same fucking fucking results each time. Let me spell it out for you. This great monstrous dragon opens its mouth and all of humanity is invited to march into the maw of that waiting dragon and to be devoured by the flames of its mouth and disappear forever into eternal endless nonexistence. A worse and more cruel punishment for a church I cannot imagine, and what is worse, is that even something that monstrous is not enough to get a church to repent. And that is something that just infuriates me, and it brings out outrageous conduct in me.

Who can ever say enough about the cruelty of religion, that old neglected whore. I have these images in my mind of a small child, like the child I once was, staring into the darkness of endless eternal blackness of nonexistence, while looking up at the sky and thinking about the cruel and vicious nature of any possible god like being that might exist, although there would be no way of knowing for sure one fucking way or the other, and as I ponder these images my fury just builds and builds inside of me, growing in intensity, as I think about that heartless, godless, rebellious, arrogant, deceitful thing known as a church.

Sean Lockhart and the Eden Boys

I double bunk with this brain dead moron, and because that trusting gullible moron that splits a suite with me cannot be trusted, I usually do not allow him to speak, and that is a mistake. So therefore I thought that I would attempt to put my feelings into a few words of my own, and then do a much better job by quoting from the Song of Solomon, since there is no point in reinventing the wheel, and that Song is so much better than anything I think I could ever write. For the purposes of this piece, I will address Sean, but really I feel that way about all those guys.

Oh, Sean, my little lamb, my darling, my love, my little dove (with a broken wing). Oh for so very long I have stood along on the side of the mountain and watched my lambs march off towards the horizon, where the smoke of destruction rises up in columns, and where all lambs go as they march through this life. Ahead on the road you can see the column of smoke rising, and you know that this is where you must go someday, into the flames of that destructive inferno and then off into the blackness of eternal endless nonexistence and the perpetual stillness of endless silence and eternally lasting darkness.

How my heart ached, and still does, over the ruinous destruction of my flock. They are now like sheep who wander and no shepherd can gather them. Many shepherds have scattered my flock.

When I returned from the Mountain of Paradise I did not then live a life full of joy and gladness. I did not open bottles of wine, and I did not feast upon banquet tables covered with the choicest fruits. I do not feast alone, and all my little lambs were gone, they were scattered and were found wandering. I called for them, but they did not respond.

Oh, my little lambs, my loves, for now I will have to let you go and allow you continue your march toward the horizon and the towering column smoke which you know awaits you someday. But while you march, you will hear my song. Perhaps my little lambs will respond someday to the lyrics of my love song.

Come home little lambs, to the Mountain of Paradise, to the Garden of God, to the banquet and to the joy and celebration that is to come, yes it is coming, someday it must come, my little ones, my darlings, the love of my heart and the aching longing of my soul.

Song of Solomon

I really don’t like the idea of erasing my fuck ups, and if I did it would be the first time. I like to leave everything naked and exposed to the world. However, to deal with any possible pervert problem my very provocative statements may have created, I thought I would describe my passionate feelings for Adam, and for Adam’s body, by perhaps quoting from the Song of Solomon in the Bible.

Do not gaze at me because I am swarthy, because the sun has scorched me. My mother’s sons were angry with me, they made me keeper of the vineyards; but, my own vineyard I have not kept!

Tell me, you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon; for why should I be like one who wanders beside the flocks of your companions?

Your cheeks are comely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.
We will make you ornaments of gold, studded with silver.
While the king was on his couch, my nard gave forth its fragrance.
My beloved is to me a bag of myrrh, that lies between my breasts.
My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms in the vineyards of Engedi.
Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves.
Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly lovely. Our couch is green;
the beams of our house are cedar, our rafters are pine.

As an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among young men. With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love.
Sustain me with raisins, refresh me with apples; for I am sick with love.
O that his left hand were under my head, and that his right hand embraced me!

My beloved is like a gazelle, or a young stag. Behold, there he stands behind our wall, gazing in at the windows, looking through the lattice.
My beloved speaks and says to me: "Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away;
for lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone.
The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
The fig tree puts forth its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

Catch us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.

Upon my bed by night I sought him whom my soul loves; I sought him, but found him not; I called him, but he gave no answer.
"I will rise now and go about the city, in the streets and in the squares; I will seek him whom my soul loves." I sought him, but found him not.
The watchmen found me, as they went about in the city. "Have you seen him whom my soul loves?"
Scarcely had I passed them, when I found him whom my soul loves. I held him, and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

A garden fountain, a well of living water, and flowing streams from Lebanon.
Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, let its fragrance be wafted abroad. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.
I come to my garden, my love, I gather my myrrh with my spice, I eat my honeycomb with my honey, I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, O friends, and drink: drink deeply, O lovers!

I slept, but my heart was awake. Hark! my beloved is knocking. "Open to me, my love, my love, my dove, my perfect one; for my head is wet with dew, my locks with the drops of the night."

My beloved is all radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.
His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves beside springs of water, bathed in milk, fitly set.
His cheeks are like beds of spices, yielding fragrance. His lips are lilies, distilling liquid myrrh.
His arms are rounded gold, set with jewels. His body is ivory work, encrusted with sapphires.
His legs are alabaster columns, set upon bases of gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars.
His speech is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

I went down to the nut orchard, to look at the blossoms of the valley, to see whether the vines had budded, whether the pomegranates were in bloom.
Before I was aware, my fancy set me in a chariot beside my prince.

I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.
Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the fields, and lodge in the villages;
let us go out early to the vineyards, and see whether the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened and the pomegranates are in bloom. There I will give you my love.

The mandrakes give forth fragrance, and over our doors are all choice fruits, new as well as old, which I have laid up for you, O my beloved.
O that you were like a brother to me, that nursed at my mother’s breast! If I met you outside, I would kiss you, and none would despise me.
I would lead you and bring you into the house of my mother, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the juice of my pomegranates.
O that his left hand were under my head, and that his right hand embraced me!

Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? Under the apple tree I awakened you. There your mother was in travail with you, there she who bore you was in travail.
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.