I was a hottie. Yes, I was such a hottie that in this town where I live there was really no one else I can think of who could have challenged me for the crown as the top hottie, at least not that I ever saw. Not only did I have a body to die for but I also had that ineffable quality known as charisma, a powerful intoxicant that only made me hotter than I already was. I was a dreamboat. All the fags around here held the same opinion as was evident by the way I could silence a whole room full of fags just by walking by as every conversation ceased and every eye was captivated by the intoxicating spell.
Oh, yes, those guys were hot for me, just hotter than hell for me, and I knew it. I was not arrogant, which was obvious, since charisma and arrogance are never found in the same personality, but rather I was one of those good hearted good souls, a very generous and giving guy, which went a long way to explaining why I possessed such a powerful attractant, that ineffable charisma.
Now you might think that someone in my position had the world in the palm of my hand, but I will be damned if I could get a date in this town. You see, this is not the big city folks. This is one of those mid-western cow towns. Yes, it is a city, but just barely a city, and for that reason I was stuck with the fags in this town, and it wasn’t like I had endless possibilities. This proved to be a problem, because the fags in this town were all such salacious gossips that I just couldn’t get a date. Oh, I had those boys sized up pretty damn quick. I knew the script. Having read a script like that thing, I found that I didn’t like my role, so I refused to audition for the part.
Yes, those boys relished scandal and really enjoyed a good salacious tale, so much so that it was almost like those really nasty salacious rumor mongerings were like bon bons that they rolled around in their mouths and sucked on like candy. It turns out that I was real charismatic super hottie with a very strong set of moral values, which probably also went a long way to explaining my magnetic charisma, and so for that reason I found that bon bon sucking to be very offensive, and that made it so damned hard to get a date with anyone other than rosy palm.
I was a very generous and giving person, and being a human being I did have insights into human behavior, having the resource material for my research close at hand, after all. No need for a trip to the library to do that research. Sex is always fun, but sex with a hottie can be a little more fun because of the intoxicating effects of a really hot body. I knew how very thrilling it would be for those boys to climb into the saddle with me, and being a really nice guy, I didn’t have a problem with that. I figured that after a little horseplay in the saddle a little time spent kissing dickie to express some gratitude might be in order. I knew that Michelangelo would probably be most likely to produce a great artistic masterpiece when he was really inspired, and so for that reason I wasn’t averse to giving those guys a little of that bare bum they were dreaming of, because you see I had a few dreams of my own. So you can see then that my motivations consisted of a mixture of generosity and selfish greed, which means that I did not have martyr complex but was in fact a well balanced personality.
However, alas, I found myself dating Rosie for years, instead of dating those guys and making the dreams of those boys come true. You see, I read the script for that soap opera, and I didn’t want no part of it. Based on what I was hearing before, I could just hear it coming. Yes, that boy is a real slutty whore, and real easy, too. Just about anybody can fuck that whore. Well after having read for my lines, you can understand why I would turn the role, and those guys wound up fucking themselves instead of fucking me. They could take that dick of theirs and try shoving up it their own ass and see if they could something going that way, because they sure as hell weren’t gonna be shoving that thing up my ass. No fucking way, not with a script like that fucking thing.
Now I did eventually get my pants pulled down by some chap who spent spent a little time kissing dickie. The first two times were nothing, for some reason, but that third time, oh, my lordy. That more than exceeded my expectations, by quite a long shot, too. Let me tell you, if there was some homo boy in that town that wanted some bum in exchange for a little kissy kissy I could see how we could to some sort of mutual accommodation on that point, if only I could find someone without that addiction to gossip, which seemed to be pervasive in that particular peer group, so much so that perhaps it was even a behavior pattern that was required to run with that crowd, thus explaining its wide spread prevalence at the time.
Well I only got dicky kissed a few times, before news of the salacious story reached my tender young ears. And quite the bullshit story it was, too. Let us just say that this highly embellished tale was not quite the truth. I will tell you, those boys were so addicted to salacious gossip and deliciously scandalous sounding tales that if a story wasn’t good enough, well they were ready to make something up, and I can tell you right now that I wasn’t present for any of that stuff that I was supposedly up to in the sack. I just got dickie kissed a few times, and the rest of that bullshit story never happened. Well you can understand just how damned pissed off that might make someone like me, and I was even more pissed off because I wasn’t getting dickie kissed anymore, but rather I was back dating Rosie again, the whole problem being that after having dickie kissed, Rosie just wasn’t as attractive to me as she once was, which was frustrating.
Now, I know there are those who might wonder why the fuck a super hottie like myself would have been alone at home, with Rosie, the boring date, when he could have been out and about getting dickie kissed, and pretty damned easily, too. Believe me, I wanted to be out and about and getting dickie kissed, but however because of my strong moral values, I just could not live with the idea of myself becoming some user who went around getting dickie kissed without being real generous in response and allowing myself to get fucked by the guy who was so generously kissing dickie. Yes, to not get fucked up the bum by that guy would have been sexually immoral, and myself, being so committed to good morals as I was, I just could not bring myself to do something like that. The idea was just that deeply offensive to someone like me, and so since I couldn’t get fucked without becoming the ‘town slut’ therefore the only moral choice that remained at the time was for me to date Rosie.
Oh, yes sir, I am a stickler for good morals, just the type to play the role of some preacher standing on some stump or some soap box and pounding a pulpit while delivering fiery sermons damning bad morals. That’s me alright. Oh by God I can see myself preaching up a storm and getting some sinners to do some real serious repenting from their sinful ways. Oh Lord above!
Now let me tell you boys, you may have thought I was Apollo, your great unattainable dream, and way out of your league boy, but if you was thinking that you was thinking wrong. Oh, hell no, I was a real nice guy, very generous and giving, and more than willing to make your dreams come true, because I was a really good hearted good soul, and I knew just how much I could thrill you with my beautiful body.
Oh, lordy, yes indeed, I knew how very thrilled you would be, and it was alright, boys. I saw how you boys would look at me naked when I climbed out of the pool after swimming my mile a day, and some of you guys showed up at the YMCA to check things out. Well they always seemed to think that I was more than just good, I was eye popping fantastic. Oh, yes, I got that pop-eyed from you guys all the time when you saw my glorious naked body.
Sure boys, you didn’t near that glorious wonderland that was my naked body, but that wasn’t because I was some ungenerous arrogant prick or that you were just out of my league, for the only thing that was keeping you outside the gates of paradise was your sinful ways.
Oh, I could have been real nice to you fellows, being the good hearted good soul that I was. How would you have liked it boy. I’ll bet you would have loved to have me on my hands and knees, with your hands full of that smooth white gorgeous little bubble butt, just a squeezing that heavenly sponge cake. The only reason that didn’t happen for you boys is because of your sinful ways, and let me pound a pulpit here in the hopes of filling you with a genuine sorrow filled repentance so as to turn you away from your sinful ways. Lord knows I am trying.
