Friday, August 31, 2007


I am not monogamous myself, because the idea of not being able to deeply love and cherish and then passionately embrace more than one single solitary human being in my entire fucking life is such a fucked up and detestable idea. So then, because I am so intensely loving, you can understand why I am filled with such loathing for something as reprehensible as life long monogamy.

I base my analysis of the monogamy lifestyle, therefore, not based upon personal experience, but rather upon my observations of other people in my civilization who have for some reason bought into that loveless, fucked up idea, and the following is my attempt to describe what seems to be the mindset of that sterile, loveless crowd.

Now keep in mind, folks, you are going to be able make one single purchase at the butcher shop, and so when you go shopping you really need to become like a very fussy housewife, who carefully inspects each cut of meat. Ideally you would want to go for the triple grade AAA sirloin tip, because if you are only going to enjoy a single steak for the rest of your life, why go for grade B when you can go for grade AAA.

Keep in mind, shoppers, that while you are trolling the aisles there are many other shoppers on the prowl, and so while you may want a real choice sirloin tip, you might have to settle for a round roast with more gristle. If you find that gristle on the round roast to be distasteful, well then you can always gamble and do more shopping, in the hopes of perhaps landing a slab of meat with less gristle. But remember, shoppers, this is a gamble, a roll of the dice, because as you can see the aisles around the meat rack are filled with busy shoppers, and if you turn down a slab of meat because it has X amount of gristle, you could very well wind up getting stuck with a slab containing X + Y gristle. It goes without saying that you would then be royally fucked, and given that hindsight is one hundred percent foresight, it will become crystal clear to you that when you turned down that round roast because of X gristle, that was big fucking mistake that would come back to bite you on the ass later, by haunting you for the rest of your life. Yes, you made your bed and now you must fuck in it, doing with a slab of meat containing X+Y gristle, simply because you didn’t know when to fold and walk away from the craps table.

It has been said that monogamy is preferable to polygamy because it is the morally pure choice. I for one sure can’t see it, for you see, being a polygamist that I am, I am less concerned about gristle, and you would never hear me gossiping away about gristle or grading slabs of meat as is the custom, I have noticed, among those who have bought into that weirdo monogamy idea. Its not like it was the largest piece of gristle I ever saw in my life, so large in fact, that the piece of gristle loomed up over every other thing until finally all I could think about was that one piece of gristle, while musing on the disgusting thought of being stuck with such a piece of gristle forever. I am polygamous, and for that reason I am more generous and giving. I am also not filled with that same beef grading lewdness that is so characteristic of a monogamous society and seems to spew out of its every orifice, since lewdness, and not moral values, is the final product produced by that pointless cruelty and senseless bullying peddled as moral virtue, life long monogamy.